Feeling Overwhelmingly Depressed

Does your therapist know? I had to be given medication to jump myself out of that funk. I have probably been midly depressed for over 20 years. Finally I just can't do it anymore. I had cancer, then other health concerns one after another that brough all my survival instincts back out and wham, major depression set in. I talk little about the health stuff .. it all the old stuff in my head that is coming out.

Have you read any of the books out on abuse or shame? Sometimes that helps.

All I can say is I know the feeling very well and that nothing gets better until you do something to make it better. Read, talk to someone, focus on something other than yourself, ask if medication would be for you but most importantly I think you have to let yourself feel the grief and sadness and stop "trying" to be happy when your not. I will say my antidepressant is what got me to cry.

Does your husband know that you still see your cousin during sex?

Lori

something I learned a long time ago, when an exbf and I were trying to wrok through issues. It was suggested by our t. that we try roleplaying durring sex. We were told that first, we needed to sit down and figure out a method to signal that we were at our limit. Something beside justy saying no. If it was to be a word, or pphrase, it needed to be something that would ordinarily never be said durring sex, like snowballfight. Something that would make the other stop and think. It was also suggested that there be nonverbal signals. Tapping fingers on your spouses back, snapping fingers, something to make the opthjer one realize that there was a problem without words. The idea helps in a normal sexual relationship as well. I have always had a problem saying no, even if it was by saying something else. the fact that it ment that I was going to have to make it stop I couldn't say anything. Using an action, while it still meant that I was going to have to make it stop, at least that way, I could do something that indicateed that I was uncomfortable. Usually it is something stupid, trying to pop my neck is a good one, just something that signifies that I am not present.

As far as releiving the depression, Lori is right, stop trying to be happy and be yourself. Youned to be able to experience these emotions. Set aside tiome for yourself to feel those emotions, like when your son is napping. Just feel how you feel.Take it easy, and give yourself time, it is not easy to deal with the emotional aspect of what happened. I know that it is hard,been thereand it looks like I might be headed there again real soon. Just take it one day at a time. That is the only way that I know of to handle it.

Brenda

hannah

And I will say first you have to stop thinking of it as filthy layers. I am to the point that I realize it was never my fault and that I am not dirty or bad. But who I am without that thought process is disconcerning. I feel out of sorts. So for now I am trying to reconnect my emotions which is very awarkard for me.

I don't think it is wrong to pretend at work. We all have our outside face and our home face. I think that there are some who are the same in all parts of their life, but those people are rare. Most of us have fears. Work on home first, when you are comfortable there then you can be more real at work.

Lori

Lori, after you stop thinking of it as your fasult, you don't know what to do. We have spent so much time thinking that way, what do we do now, and where do we go with the extrathought space from not thinking that way. It does take time to reconnect and figure out where and what to go/do next. just be patien with yourself,asyou might find yourself falling back into that old habbit.

Brenda

Brenda

You guys have given me hope that one day I won't blame myself. Lori, I agree with Brenda..give yourself time to figure out how to fill that void. When you all figure it out..let me know.

hannah