Sexual Abuse Support Group

I was recently raped. And now I remember it again 7 years ago. My mom's boyfriend Brant I trusted with my heart. He had always kept me safe I considered him my hero. I loved him more than my mom. He's been with my mom since I was 3 I never felt like I didn't have a father. He was always my father the one I looked up to and trusted. Well one day my mom was at work and he had to do an errand. He left me home alone with his nephew. I was 11 lived as boy back then because of identity issues. I had a lot of issues back then. Well his nephew had solicited doing a blow job. I said no and tried to leave but he shut the door and took my virginity. I remember being in shock mode and when brant came back. He really gave me a hard time because I was acting out and needed to chill out. But my relationship with Brant would forever be changed I guess I saw it as he had hurt me through his nephew even though I know he never would have done that. But my problems became even more extreme. I started cutting and had an eating disorder. I saw myself as dirty and low for letting him do that to me. But I had tried to fight him it just didn't work. I haven't at all coped from those feelings they've only been magnified at 18 almost now.

You know how you cope? By taking the first step by talking about it, seeking support. And right now, you've done that I'm proud of you We all relate to being violated, and feeling like the people who were supposed to protect us, or even believe us let us down. It's a violation of our trust that hurts nearly as much as, if not more than the sexual violation. I promise you, I promise you........no one here will betray your trust. You've found a virtual family, and we welcome you with open arms. do you do anything creative? like painting, drawing, sculpting........sometimes just getting creative gets all the crap out of your head, and at least for that moment, you can breathe. Just something to think about

Lostgirl18

welcome to the group and as Erin said we welcome you with open arms and will be here for you. We all have different ways of coping me I write in my journals to get my feelings out others draw paint or have other creative ways. I wanted to say when I read your post it touched me it was like my own journals but I have to say First Its Not Your Fault so please dont blame yourself and you are not dirty please just know that. We are all here for you if you ever need to talk or vent.

Mary