I know there's so much more to it that feeling angry but thats all that comes out of me these days. I think of myself when i was younger and it just makes me so mad how someone who should have known better could do that, knowing how much it would fuck them up in the future. is it common to feel distant from who you once were? my life is disjointed. for every effort i've made to repair myself, i hate that i have had to let part of my life go to feel normal. it's mine, after all, i should be able to control it. shit happens to every one, i know that. but it just infuriates me that a person could have consciously took it. And now that he's gone, he belongs to another world as far as i'm concerned. But here i am, still cleaning up his mess. Relationship after relationship has been ruined by this thing. it feels like this exterior force that doesn't have anything to do with who i am just keeps on destroying things. The latest casualty was last week, thats why i joined. i am so sick of it. |
