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01/15/2010 08:08 AM

I feel violated!

texasgirl04
texasgirl04  
Posts: 1376
Senior Member

Ppl here know my story of rape and sexual abuse. My trust in someone was broke last night and I was vioalted in the worst way possible by my daughters father who is MARRIED. I feel so gross and dirty and just want to curl up and cry and I don't know what to do about it. I have to see this guy all the time and I dont know if I can bare it...... Sad
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01/15/2010 08:22 AM
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

I'm sorry this happened to you. Do you have a self care plan in place to take care of yourself. Get yourself to a safe place, etc.? That would be devestating to me as well. Please do what you can to take care of yourself and stay safe. If it means not contacting this man for a bit, then do it. Maybe contact through a third person.

Big Hugs to you ((((hugs)))))


01/15/2010 08:59 AM
texasgirl04
texasgirl04  
Posts: 1376
Senior Member

I am not going to see him for awhile lainey. That is what I have to do. He thinks he is God and can do anything and get away with it but last night was the last straw. Im not playing his games anymore. I have my daughter to think about and even though her dad is a complet @$$hole I got to be strong for her you know. Its hard but I think I can do it with the help of ppl from this group....(((Hugs))) Smile

01/19/2010 12:00 AM
flgreenhill
 
Posts: 6
Member

You are as strong as your thoughts, I overcame with the help of church members and by carrying a weapon at work gave me authority over anyone who dared to hurt me. Even without a weapon its good to get pepper spray for your protection and go to the house of ruth for counseling they help so much with the struggles of abuse and talking to a counselor there is help in abundance of counseling.

01/20/2010 10:12 AM
shamarie6
shamarie6  
Posts: 2805
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

How does his wife feel about this? One way to get him good. My ex-husband did the exact same thing to me several years ago. I lived a block away from him, and when his wife was out of town, he would come over to my house & sneak in while I was in the shower. All I had to say to her was "you need to talk to your husband about his infidelities". Boy, that set him off! I can't stand men that think they own the woman, even after they're divorced.

01/29/2010 11:59 AM
texasgirl04
texasgirl04  
Posts: 1376
Senior Member

Sha-Marie, His wife doesnt know about what has happened. I have threatened to tell her though so he has kept away which is a good thing! I agree with you I hate men that think they own women. I mean me and this guy were never even married and he gets all bent out of shape when I even date someone else yet HE IS MARRIED NOW!!! Crazy! lol

01/30/2010 03:06 AM
flgreenhill
 
Posts: 6
Member

That is hilarious, I would avoid all contact with him. I would also change my agenda from time to so that I will not be so available. Join a group that makes life fun for you and your daughter. Get a life and don't share information with him. You can get a restraint order to keep him from calling unless you two have kids together and its not that serious. Then I understand I will keep u in my prayers.

01/30/2010 03:12 AM
flgreenhill
 
Posts: 6
Member

You dont' have to see this jerk at all, get a third neutral person to assist with arrangements, file charges regarding the rape, that is difficult if he is paying child support. If its reported the judge can order him to get counseling immediately. A third party like an adult who drives allow them to meet at a church were abusive relationships can bear a spirtual grounds where ppl can see the evil demon. You can get the help you need. And not ever have to see that jerk or man again in life the courts at least some can help you get a third party to pickup the child or without any involvement from you. Good Stuff I will keep you in my prayers.

Laurie Greenhill-Johnson Caring

Officer


01/30/2010 09:37 AM
shamarie6
shamarie6  
Posts: 2805
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

My best suggestion to you, is just as some of the others have said, file rape charges on him, get a protective order against him, and make his wife aware of it. Ruin this man, if you must, just to make sure he leaves you alone. But also be very careful in everything you do. Be aware of your surroundings. If you ever need to talk privately, feel free to pm me.

Sha


01/30/2010 09:52 AM
HiddenButterfly
HiddenButterfly  
Posts: 4942
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

You know you can stipulate in a restraining order that he can only call a certian amount of times and those times are only to talk to your daughter. Also you can state that you want visitations to be suprevised, or at least that he pick her up at a public place. But if he is not treatring you and his current wife properly, it is not sending a good message to your daughter.She learns about how men and women should interact from the way tha adults around her interact. Please make sure that she knows that women deserve to be treated better than he treats you.

Brenda

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