Sexual Abuse Support Group

Hi All -

It's been a while since I posted. I've been doing really good, trying to stay focused on taking care of myself. Until today....

I was on the bus on my way to the gym then this guy sat in front of me and he smelled just like the old man my mom pimped me out to for all those years. I couldn't think. I couldn't breath....I know it wasn't him since he's been dead for more than 10 yrs but when he turned he resembled him a lot. Don't know if it was my imagination or if he really did look like him.

I couldn't even tell where I was at the moment, I missed my stop. Got off a couple of stops after my stop and walked to the gym, but I couldn't focus. That smell just brought back so many bad memories that I've worked so hard to put behind me.

Triggers are a fact of life. They are always going to be tehre, but we can find a way to manage them and keep them from cotroling our life. That is one purpose of healing, so that we are not affected in a way that our life has to be put on hold for the abuse any longer. To reach a point where we are in control of our actions and that control is not affected by the abuse. We are always in control of our actions, but the abuse clouds that rational thinking and free will. Learning to push the clouds aside allows us to experience the world as oit was meant to be.

Soo sorry that you had to experience that. It is hard to move forward when such a powerful reminder hits us.If you need to talk, let me know.

Brenda

Honu3, these triggers are going to be a part oif your life, I'm sorry to say. Even after 25 years, I still have the same trigger. Smells really send me into another world. The best thing to do is to remove yourself as quickly as possible from the area. Thake some slow, deep breaths, & calm yourself down. You did exactly this.

Triggers are the hardest things to get through at times. Just when you think you've got a handle on it, BOOM! You're thrown back & begin to feel all those emotions & the fear this man has brought into your life. Just keep telling yourself, "I'm ok. Its not him, I am safe."

I'm very proud of you for coming on here to reach out for help in getting through this. It may take you a little while to let it go again, so don't give up, sweetie. You've hit a big bump in the road, but you'll be ok. Work through your emotions, & allow yourself to feel what you need to. If you need to talk, I'm here