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03/30/2012 11:23 PM

I do not know why I feel this way!

MelanieGill
MelanieGillPosts: 3
New Member

I am really addicted to sex! I can't get enough of it, day and night, working alone, with my husband, I think about it so much. I beg my husband for hours for it, even though we just had sex a few hours prior. I do not know how to control my urges at all. I do not watch porn really, I mean I do masterbate to porn, but mainly want it with my husband. I am only 25 years old and have alway been this way since I can remember. Please help me to figure out why I am this way or help me! Thanks you
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03/31/2012 07:15 AM
yellowroze
yellowroze  
Posts: 569
Senior Member

well, one good thing about the situation is that you'd prefer it with your husband. it's not that i don't like it with my boyfriend...i love it with him..just frequently i get the urges to find someone i don't know and beg them to hurt me sexually.. and once they start it's hard to stop and i beg them for more.

thankfully i haven't acted out like that lately...but that's usually how it goes when i do.

i wish i knew what exactly made us like this... for some of us i'm sure it's from being sexually abused as a kid... i know that's how it was for me... and for being raped twice and being held captive for 3 months. i guess i just kinda got "conditioned" for that sort of thing.

have you had any sexual abuse in your past?


03/31/2012 11:01 AM
MelanieGill
MelanieGillPosts: 3
New Member

YellowRose,

Thank you for your reponse, I would love to do it with other people, but I am married and he is great at pleasing me. (No complaints here) I also like it rought and like the fact he is rough.

That is what is very cofusing for my situation, I have never been sexually abused ever in my life, and also never have been raped. I don't know why I have these urges for such abuse in bed. I don't care what happens in bed, the more pain the more I will enjoy it. Is there any other exaplination for they way I am, even though I have never been abused or anything?

Ps. I am very sorry to hear about your situation and being held captive for 3 months, which probably seemed like it was years.


03/31/2012 01:12 PM
yellowroze
yellowroze  
Posts: 569
Senior Member

you're very welcome Melanie. my urges to do it with other people are almost uncontrolled...as to say, i can't control it with i'm acting out already, but i CAN control for the most part if i allow myself to act out. it's not easy. and it's taken a LOT of practice and knowing what to look for. i've had to study myself and my responses to learn what triggers me to act out for the sake of my relationship. we've been together for 9 years and i don't want to lose him. he's the best thing that ever happened to me.

well, if you haven't been abused another possibility is that you're just a masochist. i'm into the bdsm lifestyle and frequently i see people similar to you. they crave pain. are you sure it's the sex and not the pain you crave? and that maybe sex is just a particular way you like to receive the pain? just a thought...

thanks for the empathy, sometimes it's really nice to just hear someone say it.

*hugs*


04/04/2012 09:37 PM
JonesFallsX
JonesFallsX  
Posts: 430
Member

Welcome MelanieGill, I hope you're able to find the support you're looking for and I'm glad to see that you and Rose seem to be connecting well. Another possible origin for addiction is "invalidation." Invalidation differs from abuse in that it is not as traumatic and often times unintentional. The effects of invalidation have been shown to equal those of abuse.

But another way to look at it is that the origin of this doesn't matter. If something is causing you trouble today it doesn't necessarily matter when it started. If your brakes on a car stop working today while we'd like to know when the problem began the bigger problem is that we need working brakes.

These are two different ways of looking at it. I often switch between the two, but when things are really causing me trouble I usually just let go of the why so I can focus on the what and what to do next.

Welcome to our group, remember you always have a place here.


04/15/2012 01:52 PM
MelanieGill
MelanieGillPosts: 3
New Member

Yellowroze,

Sorry for not responding for a while. I have been pretty busy since I am getting ready to move into another apartment.

My feelings towards sex is both, I love the pain, but at the same time I do it for the pleasure too. I wish my husband was a little more open about his body then I am, but he is working on it for the most part. Seems like when we do have sex its the same thing, basically saying "hey you wanna do something tonight?" and that is pretty much it. I want more spark in our sex life but at the same time I dont wanna complain because Im getting sex like I want. I am just very thankful I am not the only one that feels this way. I feel so lost and confused on what to do or think about my problem.I think about sex so much that even at one of my last jobs I masterbated in the bathroom, I mean come on that is not normal to other people. (I agree with them) I have driven to our old storage area when we lived with his parents just to materbate. I know it sounds like I only materbate but if I cant get it from him then I always figure out other ways to get off I guess you can say. As I was saying earlier, I do enjoy the pain A LOT. I mean the more hurting he does to me in bed, the more I get turned on and the more I orgasm. Is that normal? I will say yes before for the longest time I have fantasized about having sex with other people, but that was only beacause we were having a lot of problems. Now I am ok with not doing that. I just wish there was another explination on why I am like this! -sigh-

Again sorry it took me so long to reply, been a crazy couple of weeks for me. Hope to hear from you soon. Let me know how things are going with you too! Smile *Big hug*


04/28/2012 07:10 AM
lken
lken  
Posts: 2828
VIP Member

ever read sex for one by betty dodson,,, to her sex was good no matter what, she was into getting in touch with the self. and teaching others, it is your body. i think about sex a lot and like writing about it, but i do not go and find another partner for it.

i have heard the ptsd people say it to cover there pain. i guess to feel alive. is h/s just away to avoid dealing with issues that cause the boredom.

Post edited by: lken, at: 04/28/2012 07:12 AM

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