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01/27/2011 02:40 AM

Orgasm addict

missfix
missfixPosts: 12
New Member

I am female late 30's in a relationship (living together). I have had addiction problems for as long as I can remember. Conquered alcoholism, working on painkiller and tranquilliser addiction presently but one of my most worrying habits is my insatiable desire to masturbate to orgasm 4 or 5 times a day, every other day using a vibrator. I have sex with partner about 2 or 3 times a week. I have so many orgasms that often I am left totally depleted, tired, but also extremely so satisfied that I want for nothing (apart from a cigarette and some food). I know I am am addicted to the chemical rush of orgasm - this addiction has sometimes led to me neglecting other areas of my life as it leaves me so satisifed that I don't want to pursue any other goal. My partner is aware of my problem and is sometimes concerned that I am wearing myself out but he takes comfort in the thought that at least I am not sleeping with other people to get sexual highs. Often the need to orgasm isn't even sexual, I do it when anxious, when depressed, I normally have to do it in the afternoon about 2pm for a couple of hours. I also masturbate often after me and my partner have had sex. I am totally addicted. I know that if I had a full-time job maybe this would be less of a problem or if I exerised more. BUT saying that, I can remember in the past when I was working full time and exercising, I still had this addiction. It could be a form of escapism. I have had trouble with depression and anxiety all my life. I am getting to the point where this addiction is taking too much from me however. I think I would struggle to go three days without an orgasm fix. Help! Any thoughts/simillar experience out there?? Or am I totally crazy????Dizzy
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01/27/2011 06:21 AM
jenn123
jenn123  
Posts: 1264
Senior Member

You're not alone, im the same way, i need to masterbate many times per day even when im w/a sex partner. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, "It could be a form of escapism". Anything can be addicting...especially if its interfering with other things in your life. Welcome and know that your not alone..I'm sure you'l get some helpful suggestions here from those who have dealt w/this and have been successful (unfortunatly im not there yet, lol).

01/27/2011 10:21 AM
carlguyfl
carlguyfl  
Posts: 369
Member

Welcome to the forum, missfix. The first thing you need to know is that addictions are a SYMPTOM, not a cause. The "fix" (escape) you seek is the pain killer but only you can determine what that pain is.

Have you been to a therapist already? If not, it is imperative you do so without delay. My therapist saved my life and I am ever so thankful. Like with any illness, you need to know the cause in order to address it. Working full time or excersicing more can certainly alleviate this due to the time contraints a full time job places on you, but just the fact that you don't exercise or work full time is no reason to be addicted to anything.

Unless you were sexually abused as a child or you are bipolar, there is always something else behind the curtains of your mind that triggers depression and/or despair which makes you NEED that sexual fix. Would you have an idea as to what that would be?

We are here to help you in any way we can, but only from our own experioence as addicts, not as doctors.

Carl - Group Leader


01/28/2011 06:53 PM
JonesFallsX
JonesFallsX  
Posts: 430
Member

I know exactly what you mean. Masterbation was my antianxiety and sleep medication of choice for the last three years. It felt so out of control that at some points I had to leave work to go and act out - I even acted out in my car a few times. Sorry if that is tmi.

I have been abstiante for 22 days now. I have found fellowship in SAA, CoDA, and ACoA helpful.I'm also finding therapy helpful.

Some daily techniques journal about what I really want - I use sex as the fix but journal what I'm really seeking. Another technique is taking it one moment at a time. I don't knwo that I could be abstinate for 23 days, but I know I'll be abstinate until I finish writing this. Afterwards I'm going to go wash the dishes as I do so I will remain abstinate at least until I finish the dishes.

One day at a time, and often one moment at a time.


02/01/2011 06:11 AM
missfix
missfixPosts: 12
New Member

I was diagnosed as bi-polar when I had breakdown 10 years ago - but my present doctor doesn't seem to think I am bi-polar, so it's all a bit confusing. I think I may have bi-polar tendencies though - I seek a fix when high to bring me down, I seek a fix when low to bring me up. Over the past few self-pleasuring sessions I have stopped myself after one orgasm instead of going on to have 4 or 5 (which normally takes up about an hour and half of my time - plus recovery time asleep (another 1.5 hours approx). I think I need to find other things to do to fill up my day more. I did some housework today which I often neglect when absorbed in a "session" (as I call it!). I'm going to go out for a quick walk in a minute. I think there might be something in the fact that I feel repressed - by being inside too much and maybe by spending too much time online, just sitting there. I need to get the endorphin fix through other means. As I write this I am still battling to go back into the bedroom but I am going to abstain. Yes, day by day, a good one, but there is NO WAY I can see myself living a life without orgasms - I would probably go absolutely insane. I would be interested if there is a connection between feelings of ANGER and FEAR and the desire to masturbate - these two emotions often arouse me. Blink

02/01/2011 06:21 AM
missfix
missfixPosts: 12
New Member

@JonesFalls - I have also acted out in inappropriate places - twice in the workplace (in the middle of a meeting I just had to get out and go bring myself to orgasm in the toilets!). And on holiday I have often been in the middle of sunbathing and then just have to go back to hotel room for a fix - making up some sort of excuse. Probably the worst times were when I had to live with parents - I would have to hide under about 3 duvets to muffle the sound of the vibrator. I live in a flat now but am sure the people downstairs must be able to hear me sometimes. I dread any kind of living situation where I would not be able to act out. I ignore the phone, the doorbell, text messages until I am done. Hence my concern that this habit is taking over my life. It IS escapism and addiction to the rush. I just wish I could find a good therapist.

02/01/2011 06:24 AM
missfix
missfixPosts: 12
New Member

HAS ANYONE EVER USED DRUGS (BROMIDE USED TO BE USED TO CURB SEX DRIVE) - IS IT AVAILABLE NOW SAFELY??? ANY ONE USE ANY OTHER DRUGS OR IS THIS DANGEROUS TERRITORY. I was given anit-psychotics once to see if they would help - but they just competely knocked me out - I'd rather have some life with orgasms than be too zombied out to do anything.

02/01/2011 09:24 AM
carlguyfl
carlguyfl  
Posts: 369
Member

missfix, i can detect a genuine feeling to get this in control. I am no MD, but I have to tell from my experience as a recovering sex addict and from what little you have shared that you have all the makings of a (mild, at the very least) bipolar, depression or OCD diagnosis. I am not bipolar but I was diagnosed depressive with OCD in 2009.

Like you, I first tried to "occupy" my time in other endeavors trying to put the desire out of my mind. It never worked. Somehow, I'd find an excuse to get back into it and leave my other chores behind.

I will agree with you wholeheartedly with the need to get a good therapist on board - this is essential to the recovery process. Medications are certainly key in many cases, but not Bromide. Bromide is actually an anti-convulsant which I read once it was used by the armed services of some countries to alleviate soldiers who had penile injuries/surgeries to prevent erections that would cause them pain.

Do not allow anyone to give you anything that is "specifically" meant to supress sexual arousal. Remember that your sex addiction is only a symptom of something bigger and it can't be treated as a disease on its own. You need to adress your mental state (bipolarism, depression, OCD, etc....) which will subsequently address the sexual issue. No matter the circumstances you will always need to be a sexual being (it's how the Lord made us), you just need to control the addiction before it controls YOU.


02/02/2011 01:02 AM
missfix
missfixPosts: 12
New Member

Thank you for your reply, it was very useful. I am going to see if I can find a therapist to help me rather than resort to more drugs to mask the real problems. In the meantime, I am going to try take a "one day at a time" approach and try keep myself occupied with other things. It probably doesn't help that I spend alot of time of my laptop sitting very near the bedroom door - too much temptation. I have to get fit and lose weight and stop smoking too. I'm going to just try and accept my feelings and stop trying to get rid of them all the time. BTW, I think I must have OCD (as a child I used to do odd repetitive stuff) I still do it today. My dad has it too. (Doctors don't seem very advanced where I live - I don't think I've ever been properly diagnosed). Anyway, thank you for taking the time to answer my posts.

02/02/2011 01:10 AM
scoobydoo61
scoobydoo61  
Posts: 682
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

I Hope Things Go Well And improve for ya. I too have to masturbate connstantly to 6he point of Rawness even the pain is enjoyable at times.

Ron

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