I have been married 31 years. Have 4 beautiful adult children one grandchild . In Last year my husband stared having panic attacks and anxiety. This turned into " its all my fault syndrome ". In the meantime I had two knee surgeries in 8 months and pain for 1 year. In April I found out he has been having an affair since Feb.The " girlfriend is 31 he is 56"He moved out of course telling me it was all my fault. Since then I have seen him in a different light. I do realize he seems to have cycles and think they have been going on all our married life but more so since 1999 ( year our son graduated from HS and moved out). I think the empty nest syndrome set in and went downhill from there. Even though we had some still at home. Lately since the seperation he has been up and down. Wanting to come home one day hating me the next. Shutting off contact with everyone etc. Verge of a nervous breakdown etc. Now after breaking it off with the OW he wants to seek help and I am trying so hard to see that he gets it. He still is disconnected and emotionless. His family is that way also. It has been a roller caoster . We are seeing a marriage counselor but he is still very vacant almost acts like an addict since he says he isn't seeing the girl anymore or so he says. I think I am feeling the loss of the person I thought I knew. Right now he wants to drink and do all the things he thought he has missed. I am usually a happy person lately I am so depressed because it feels as if I need to hang on....I am so ready to let go...my health is more important since I am facing another knee surgery. He is now seeing two therapists and a psychiatrist do I give him time to see if this helps or am I setting myself up for another fall? My question is I told him if he lied to me once again I will finally stop all this crap. I set my selp up for his failure this time not mine....Is it time to let go? |
