Self-Injury Support Group

My name is Valerie-Anne. I have been a cutter from the age of about 12 until now, age 36. I have been on this website since March but didn't know about this group. I thought I had the cutting beat 2 years ago, but a week ago I could not stop myself. But at least it wasn't as bad as it had been. About 3 years ago it was so bad that I carved my name into my arm with a razor blade. The scar is barely noticeable anymore, but I KNOW it s there. A friend/teacher of mine helped me to stop for a while but her and I are always at odds lately and I find cutting on my mind more and more. She says I am too dependent on her and that she doesn't want to be my enabler anymore. But I can't just let her go from my life, as much as she wants me to. She won't cut me off because she is too afraid that I will cut or try to hurt myself, again. I keep telling her she is wrong and that if she REALLY wants to cut me off from her life she should just do it, but she won't. Probably because she knows me better than I know myself, and knows that even though I say I won't, I still might cut or worse. But I want the strength to let go of her as my enabler and develop a REAL friendship with her. Well, I just wanted to introduce myself. Thanks,

Valerie-Anne

Feel free to ask any question or PM me if you wish.

I have had lots of therapists over the years. Most of which were not good. I have never had good insurance and now I am on Medicare/Medicaid, so finding a therapist who takes either or both is very hard. I mostly talk to a few friends when I get upset now. With over 12 distinct medical/neurological diagnoses I am involved with several groups on this website. I sometimes wonder if I didn't have so many disorders, if I wouldn't have started cutting in the first place.

Some examples that we have used in our group, music, poetry, journaling, writing with a red pen, and other stuff. I hope you will find this group will help you.

I am also 36 and I have been cutting since age 15. I also just joined the SI group but I have been on MDJ since Nov. 08. I am a cutter and I am struggling just like you. The most important thing about both of us, though is that we are reaching out and want to be free from the injuring.

Welcome. I will be here if you need me.