Self-Injury Support Group

Well, I'm Kinsey. I'm eighteen years old and have been self harming since November of 2010. I had stopped for what I thought was for good January 5th, 2012. I just relapsed tonight. At first my self-injury started because of physical and verbal/emotional abuse I was facing. Now it's just...So I can feel something, I guess. So I know I'm still alive and am really part of this world, as weird as that might sound.

I sit up every night til at least three or four in the morning begging myself to fall asleep, but instead my mind is racing about how many objects in my room I could use to harm myself. I haven't had more than three hours worth of sleep each night since November of 2011, and I doubt it's going to happen any time soon.

I'm hoping that by becoming active in a support group that eventually I can stop my self-injury for good and move on with my life. I don't want my self-harm to define me anymore; I want to be me again.

Good for you in not wanting SI to define you anymore. I don't know how you are still alive on that little sleep. I couldn't be. Have you tried taking anything to help you sleep. I use Melatonin. I tried a generic type of something similar to Bendadyl and could barely functin the next morning. Does anything help you?

Coming here is the first stop in overcoming this.

You can be you again. Hang in there and keep trying.

Hi Kinsey I'm sorry you haven't been able to sleep much. I had similar issues when I was injuring. I'd stay up till 4 just wishing my mind would settle, and let me get some rest. It's a pain in the butt at times for sure, lol. Or as you said, just repeatedly waking up.

Your reasons for injuring this time aren't uncommon. I think over the course of self injurious behavior reasons naturally shift, and change, or new triggers are added & subtracted. For me personally it evolved that way.

Keep doing your best with all this. If you stay strong and want to stop bad enough you'll be able to do it. Don't let a setback like this overshadow the progress you've already made. Your NOT back to square one.

Benadryl doesn't help me sleep anymore, but Nyquil does sometimes. I'm trying my hardest to stay positive, but I'm feeling low. I feel like I am just gonna fall back into the habit again and I really don't want to do it.

I know it is frustrating to feel like you will fall into the habit. Even if you backslided once, that does not mean you are back in the habit. Same for anyone. I don't know if you made it through the low without SI or not.