MDJunction - People Helping People
 

Why wear a ribbon?

 
"...to support the Permanently Disabled..." (martha92630)

MDJunction to me

cappymuir"MDJunction means to me the freedom to express my feelings without being interrupted and knowing there are others that can share their experience too. As a Leader it is a to show compassion and give support to all the members and always listen to each one's needs. Sometimes I may not be able to relate, so I view the responses that do relate and happy to see the results. I am proud to be a member of MDJunction and share it with all I meet that need support. I am glad to be an advocate for many different areas that MDJunction fills." (cappymuir)

more testimonials
Self-Injury Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Self-Injury, together.
Join This Group
Group Home   Forums   Articles   Members (1025)   Diaries   Videos   Leaders   Guidelines
Self-Injury Group RSS Feed
Self-Injury ForumsIntroductions & Personal StoriesWell, I've been here before, and now I'm back.
07/16/2011 06:49 AM
FatherKarras
FatherKarras
 
Posts: 3261
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

A little backstory. Some of you know that Im bipolar and that I self harm. Recently, I was also diagnosed as being psychotic (delusionary, hallucinatory, paranoid, etc).

I'm really having a hard time dealing with this. I was switched off the bp med (stupid, since I'm bipolar) and put on antipsychotic med and Klonopin. Since then, I've felt nothing but the need to harm myself. I've done it a few times (intentionally slamming the trunk on my hand, playing the knife between the finger game, etc.

I can't switch this off. It's all I can do right now not to take the drill and put a hole in my hand.

I don't know how to handle this, but checking myself in is just going to make matters worse. I'll find worse ways to hurt myself.

Patrick

Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream--EA Poe

Nobody loves you when you're down and out; Nobody sees you when you're on cloud 9--John Lennon

And in the end; the love you take; is equal to the love; you make--The Beatles

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man--Friedrich Nietzsche

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all--Emily Dickinson

Current drugs:
Effexor 150 mg
Risperidone 6 mg q am
Klonopin 1 mg tid
Reply

07/16/2011 08:34 AM  Top
Irishangel88
Irishangel88
 
Posts: 4933
VIP Member

I can relate a little, when I was on Zoloft I went through something similar. But you HAVE to tell the truth to your doctors, TELL them it's the medication, some anti depressants/anti psychotics have suicidal tendencies as their side effects, and it's really dangerous. Tell them exactly when it started, and tell them you want to be back on your old medicine, that before you didn't want to hurt yourself, but on this new medicine you do. Because reading your post, I don't really think it's conciously you wanting to hurt yourself. I think it's a side effect from the medicine that's making it come to light a thousand times more than it would be brought to light.
Diamonds are only made under extreme pressure. So let's sparkle baby :)

She looked in the mirror and thought today....what happened to miss no longer afraid?
Kelly Clarkson- "Miss Independent"

"If you can't handle me at my worst you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

I am not a doctor, and I don't take referrals :)

07/18/2011 12:20 AM  Top
slamm311
slamm311
 
Posts: 7286
VIP Member

Hey Father! I know what you mean....I am getting stronger and stronger urges. You need to dig deep down...why are you doing this? What happened that makes you feel so angry ad hurtful to yourself to do this? What's been going on?
~Jenny

Previous discussions I participated in:
Missing you!
DAILY CHALLENGE # 9
5 Letter Game

10/06/2011 02:29 AM  Top
sunnie
 
Posts: 48
Member

Keep fighting the fight, thinking of you, and i agree with ur replys

Take care, stay safe

Sunnie


10/06/2011 05:42 AM  Top
stand2endure
stand2endure
 
Posts: 369
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hang in there and keep sharing, we are listening.

s2e

I am a survivor of incest, rape, sexual abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, prostitution, domestic violence, alcoholism, drug addiction, nicotine and self abuse. I have been in recovery for the past 19 years and still counting.

I am not a doctor and my advice and posts is from my own opinion and experiences! I am here for support and to help support others. Please feel free to contact me through pm or chat.

VISIT MY DIARY TO READ MY STORY AT http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/fight-the-good-fight

ARE YOU AN INCEST SURVIVOR? THEN I WANTED TO INVITE YOU TO THE INCEST SURVIVORS SUPPORT GROUP.
http://www.mdjunction.com/incest-survivor

I'm the founder of the new organization called "Sexual Abuse Family Education (S.A.F.E.)" This is a organization where we boldly take a stand against all child abuse.

S.A.F.E. WEBSITE
http://www.safe101radio.com/

S.A.F.E. FACEBOOK GROUP
http://www.facebook.com/groups/safe101/

S.A.F.E. 101 TALK RADIO
http://www.bloftalkradio.com/safe101

s2e :)

10/06/2011 07:53 AM  Top
peasha
peasha
 
Posts: 1370
VIP Member

Hi Father I here you on the urges and total med change that internally you know shouldn't happen. I just went through the change and man it was a pain in the rear, but I finally got the dr to realize its the combo he gave me that was just not wrking out and I was not about to wait till something happened to find out if it is "working" or not.

I would tell the dr that you HAVE to have the BP med you were on and he needs to work around it so that you can try dealing with the pschotic episodes without the intense urges you are having now. If you were in control before then why change what is working is what I say. I also know that when it comes to these things you just gotta put your foot down and tell the DR. that you are NOT going to change meds unless YOU are comfortable with how well you can control yourself with certain things. Does that make sense? Tell him you gotta go on something different cause this aint working and tell them to ween you off the other medicine and give you something that will work for the BP with whatever meds the feel you need for the psychotic episodes you been having. I agree with you on the fact that taking you off your bp med was a mistake and to have done that so quickly doesn't make any sense medically if you already have a good history with it. Keep us posted and keep fighting the urges, maybe ask for a sleep med to help get you to sleep so your not "thinking" too much.

AND- long time no see slamm!! I miss you all the time hun and I hope that you are doing fairly well. Don't stay a stranger now Smile

I'm a recovering self injurer (clean 5yrs about),have Severe tendonitis, Sinusitis, Asthma, Allergies, Insomnia, RA, Fibromyalgia, TMJD, MDD, and a host of other traumas I have overcome throughout my life.
Im not an expert, but I have been through hell and back with medical procedures and medicine treatments.
Im getting my degree in Pharmacology, and want to learn more about how these problems can be treated.
My worst enemy is my health, and I believe I have the strength to not let it get me down.
*Don't Worry a' Be Happy*-with life
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
Members who viewed this page also read:

Self-InjurySelf-Injury ForumsIntroductions & Personal StoriesWell, I've been here before, and now I'm back.

Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | Bookmark Us | FAQ | Awareness Ribbons
About Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Spread the Word | MDJ Advocates | Advertise
Copyright (c) 2006-2013 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved