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08/17/2009 12:01 PM

i need help, need to cut

pixiedust430
pixiedust430  
Posts: 2414
VIP Member

My hubby and I are fussing. I feel like he's triggering me. All I want is to cut. I need it. Its been so long. My nerves are shot and hands shaking. Hard to even hold the phone. I am trying to not go buy blades. I am going crazy. I don't think I even ake sense right now.
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08/17/2009 12:02 PM
TIFFANYisMENTAL

maybe a little distraction is what you need?

08/17/2009 12:09 PM
pixiedust430
pixiedust430  
Posts: 2414
VIP Member

Yeah I am trying. I haven't felt so taken over in months. Ifeel I have no clue how I feel. I am being pulled under by the undertow of an emotional wave. I want control.

08/17/2009 12:10 PM
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Oh Pixie honey, I'm sorry. I know how husbands can trigger. Try humming, that helped me yesterday. Try digging your nails into palms of your hands. That helped me alot. Maybe calm yourself down, ground yourself and you can get back on track. DO NOT GO BUY ANYTHING!!!! That is the first step.

Good Luck to you honey, big hugs ((((HUGS)))))


08/17/2009 12:19 PM
pixiedust430
pixiedust430  
Posts: 2414
VIP Member

I love you guys. I feel alone my dads on a truck not speaking to mom and fussing with hubby. I have been doing the nails/palm thing and now the radio. I hit the wall with my fist and head. I just crave a blade for the first time in a while. I threw something just mad, it hit my hubbys finger. His amputated finger. He said if I left him he would file assault charge. I never meant for it to hit him or spiral out of control like this. I was trying to keep from really hurting myself but now makes me wish I had just hurt myself.

08/17/2009 12:25 PM
TIFFANYisMENTAL

maybe we should talk about something else? to distract you?

banging your head on the wall is still not good.


08/17/2009 12:31 PM
pixiedust430
pixiedust430  
Posts: 2414
VIP Member

Yeah I hadn't done it in a month or so but at that moment it was better than cutting because I knew I would have gotten carried away.

08/17/2009 12:34 PM
TIFFANYisMENTAL

so what's the last movie you saw in the theater?

08/17/2009 12:38 PM
pixiedust430
pixiedust430  
Posts: 2414
VIP Member

The last one we saw was the remake of Halloween at the drive in. We went with friends of ours. It was the last outing we had with them before she passed and our last date. Oct 08

08/17/2009 12:41 PM
TIFFANYisMENTAL

wow, i've never been to a drive in!

was it any good? i've never been a big fan of the Halloween series

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