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05/17/2009 10:43 PM

My Introduction

bride2B
bride2B  
Posts: 7
Member

I've been a cutter for over ten years, but I'm getting married soon. I think it's time I stopped.

I watched my cousin bleed to death from the cuts on her arms. I was 12 years old and I did nothing because she wanted to die. Honestly, so did I.

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05/18/2009 05:58 AM
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Welcome to the group Bride. I hope you can get some support here. It's hard to stop. We've all been there, but it is possible. There are those of us that have gone months! And those of us that have slipped. But we all just share our stories and cope. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

05/20/2009 04:37 PM
tiff0089
tiff0089Posts: 220
Member

Wow bride2b that's pretty heavy stuff! That must of been very hard for you! How old was your cousin when she did that? I'm sorry that you had to go through that. And if you want to stop cutting my first suggestion would be to see a therapist. My second suggestion would be to find a distraction. Also, whenever you want to cut you can always come here and talk to us!! Best of luck and congrats on the marriage! Smile

05/20/2009 05:29 PM
hannah08
hannah08  
Posts: 412
Member

Hello Bride2b and Welcome to the group! That really is some very deep stuff. We all understand your struggles with cutting and we really hope you let us help in any way that we can. It is definitely possible to stop but is a long hard road that we are all traveling with you. Please feel free to PM me anytime and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.

hannah


05/20/2009 07:02 PM
WantDignity
WantDignity  
Posts: 1261
Senior Member

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But, I'm glad you are willing to stop cutting. It takes a lot of strength and insight to come to that decision. And a wedding is a good excuse. lol

05/21/2009 07:40 PM
bride2B
bride2B  
Posts: 7
Member

My fiancee and I thought it was very important to us to wait until marriage to have sex. The first time he sees me undressed, or any man for that matter sees he undressed, he will see my scars.... and I have many of them. I never cut for attention, I cut to survive, to release my emotions. I am very careful to always cut in places I know will not be seen. Now, I feel humiliated and weak. I do not want him to know how damaged I am.

05/21/2009 07:47 PM
hannah08
hannah08  
Posts: 412
Member

Oh sweetie, we are all damaged in some way. We all have our issues and so does he. I am sure he loves you very much and will be accepting of all that you are. Have you spoken with him about the cutting at all? If you think it might help then maybe you should consider it. when is the wedding by the way? please let us know what we can do to help.

hannah


05/21/2009 08:15 PM
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Honey, I'm sorry you feel damaged. I am sure if you talk to him about this he will understand. Like Hannah said he loves you very much and will be accepting of it. But I would let him know this soon. I would like to know when your wedding is too.

05/22/2009 04:53 PM
bride2B
bride2B  
Posts: 7
Member

The wedding is June 27th. Just over a month away! We are going to honeymoon in Ireland... (if i ever make the reservations.......) and we are planning to get married in the Salt Lake City Temple. It's going to be perfect.

I am very excited and very scared. There are many things I need to talk to my husband to be, Mitch, about. This is merely one of them. I find this harder then the others because this is a choice I made, and continue to make. I feel overwhelmed, angry, scared, lonely, humiliated, hurt or simply confused. When I cut, I can let of of these negative emotions and watch them drain away. It helps me to process these negative feelings and move on. I know it is not healthy, and I have begun seeking therapy.

Post edited by: bride2B, at: 05/22/2009 04:53 PM

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