feeling a little numb

we all lose our drive at times and know that its easier to go back to unhealthy habits but you have been doing so well why sacrifice all that hard work over a few minutes of pleasure?

Finding someone you can talk to and be honest with will be a great help weather it be on here or in person to a friend or a person at school anyone you trust.

I have put in place a few things that ive found helps for me and ill be happy to share them with you..

I run hard and fast as long as i can and the burn that your body gives you is very close to the feeling and you know you are still alive.

I write .. just random sentences and thoughts but it helps to really understand the trigger and the underlying feeling that your trying to deal with so you can grasp reality a bit better.

Seriously it is so easy to going back but its harder to stay on track and being so strong for so long has proven great character on your behalf you have the strength to get well to beat the addiction of cutting or burning.. just be kind to yourself and look for the things you have already done that has obviously helped you cope for this long and if need be add to it...

good luck and i hope i have helped please pm me anytime i will listen and i will not judge anyone...

a great big hug to you darling

marsha

it is a hard thing for others to undersatnd as most of them could never imagine hurting themselves... From your picture you look like a beautiful intelligent person whom like me just has some other issues keeping you down and thats ok i need you to know that. What we suffer can be read up on studied on but to really understand it and hold no ignorance you really need to have experienced it sadly.. that is why it carries such a big stigma but i say ...

if the people who run the world are supose to be our example of "normal" give me the title "freak" anyday..

i wish you well love and happiness and i am always here for you.

big hug and all my support

marsha

well it sounds like your husband dosnt seem to understand have you taken him to a appointment with you so he can hear whats going on in your mind and in your thoughts? It really helped my hubby understand what i was going though and now he is so much more patient.And of coarse my therapist was totally fantastic about the whole thing.

I am so sorry you have gotten to the point of wanting to cut again thats such a bad place to be in.Please though i beg you if you feel that way come on line and talk to someone and if no-one is on then go to a depression site on here and talk on there i promise someone will get back to you... and i will for sure .

Men arnt the most emosional in the good times so i really dont know why we keep trying to get them to hear and understand us but oh well i supose we are us and they are they.

please dont give up on yuourself i wont give up on you!!

im here anytime... i will get back to you as soon as i can promise..

good luck im here for you

marsha

big hug going to you

Man I am glad you responded. I was beginning to think that I was completely wrong for getting upset. Its nice to feel not so alone and you always offer such understanding and compassionate advice. My fears have caused me to lose my friends and both my parents drive a truck. The only family I have is my husband and my sister. She is so busy with 3 young kids and my husband, well, his biggest problem is he's a man and all that goes with it( won't do anything wothout being asked, alot, toilet seat, etc. lol)Anyway he has been with me but it was a long time ago. Really the last time he went was the last time I was hospitalized just shy of 3 years ago. I went in for cutting and Bipolar. Soon after that I went off meds on my own. The worst things I have ever done were during that point. When I went back to the doc they took me off meds. They kept making me numb and I would cut. I went off and had problems but didn't hurt myself. Now I have those problems and I want to cut and my doctor just left the area so I have to start from scratch. Man that makes me feel like I'm on bottom.

Sorry it just seemed to pour out.

I also have bipolar group 2 and i have been a self mutilator ie cutter for way too long now, lol.

I understand its hard when your therapist leaves and you have to go thru it all again but maybe if you go to the same place the new person will at least have your folder or file to read up on before you get there. Saves you going thru it all and maybe forgetting something.

sweet i said i will always answer im this groups group leader and the reason why i asked to be is cause i have been there and can relate to you and whomever else may need it ok.

i hear you about the men syndrome... they fustrate us for sure but we still love them huh.lol.

sometimes i wonder if thats what makes me crazy but eh i love my hubby faults and all and i know im far from perfect lol.

well u take care of yourself and thank you for your praise i wear it on my sleeve proudly darlin.

hugs

marsha