Self-Injury Support Group

Okay, so recently i've been feeling as if i am really going down hill again, i have depression and anxiety. I cannot get the thought of cutting out of my head, how much of a release it is, i can't stop the thought that i need it so much right now. its the only way i can find that helps me cope, with it i can get through this but i have a new girlfriend and she knows about the cutting, she is a cutter herself. i've always told her when i'm going to do it and have done it, i'd never lie to her about it but i can see how upset it makes her cause she cares so much so i have been trying my hardest not to, its like I'm fighting a losing battle with myself, its tearing me apart that i can't do it. my main worry is that i know if i do it that that is a trigger for her and it upsets me when she cuts.

anyone got advice or help?

thank you

You both have to find a way to work together to get the addiction under control. If you are both concerned for eachother use that knowledge as a reason why you can't. YOu dont want to see the disappointment of course cause that hurts you, but at the same time maybe both of you together can go to therapy to try and help the situation. With both of you going to therapy maybe you can learn how things really affect both of you and what things you can do together to help the other person get through there urges.

Knowing how to get through the urges with the help of your partner is important. Once you are both aware of them, you can work together on coping skills and distractions that work. Its what I do with my husband, I usually give him my triggar warning by letting him know that I need a "babysitter" and he knows its time to get my coping skills out with books to read, taking a drive, watching a movie or sometimes just having a talk on the phone to get my mind off of everything will work.

Have you both tried to do anything like that?

I stuggle(d) with the constant thought of cutting everyday, it still pops into my mind at least at some point everyday. I started self injuring when I was 16 and now at age 27 I can say I haven't hurt myself purposely in any form in 8-9 months. I have a really good method that works for me (I box (shadowbox) and listen to music majority of the day.

I got married in 2010 (we separated this past summer -my choice) and I can say looking back to have an honest discussion with each other about how you can both help each other through SI urges while laying out clearlt what the trigger boundaries are for each of you.

That suggestion comes from my own personal experience of me being the one that SI'd and my husband knew about it since I was 16 and it turing into a huge trigger relationship for me after our 2nd month as he started coming to me and describing his urges to hurt himself and all the things that were triggers for me never went away. My outlet became soley SI and reckless behavior as a way out.

Clear, open, respectful communication is what I would have loved that would have been helpful. Also, by laying out what we each knew were triggers for each of us, it could have helped us try to limit the triggers that occur in our household at the time, it could have helped us help each other too.

I hope that helps. I can say that it is really awesome that you have that knoweldge of that feeling of going downhill- I didn't have that until I ended up in a PHP program for the depression,SI, and Suicidal thoughts that ran so far downhill really fast from the SI and stress.

Hang in there and I will be happy to offer anything I can if wanted/needed.