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ShineAquaillusion Posts: 8
New Member
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I was trying to think of a way to start this but I can't seem to think of a goddamn way. I feel like I need to say this in some way, it been building for a while and it just grows and makes me feel so horrible. The truth is, I don't have any attraction to females in any way. Let's just put it that way, I can't even bear to think of saying that "word" If my family had any idea that I even remotely thought of that, They would fucking kill me. I don't know what to think, I've never had a girlfriend and frankly, I'm not anything close to being a catch. I really just don't know what to think or do, Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night with it bothering me, I just cry for a while. I'm afraid if I let it go to long, I would end of hurting my self some how. I go around school with a nice mask on, I'm generally a nice person. I always feel like people know that I felt like that. I was thinking about telling one of my friends that I feel like this because I know she would be willing to help me herself. (I actually think she might already suspect) Even talking about it this indirect way makes me want to cry, being "That way" is an abomination and horrible. "Sigh" It seems I'll never be normal. I really just want someone to hold me and tell me and everything will be alright... Its a cliche yes, but then at least I would feel like I had someone to be there for me.. (3:00 AM now, I'll never get any sleep...) Pros.L
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" In life we all have trials and tribulations to endure weather it be physical, mental or social. For me personally when i encountered MDJunction i was astounded. Since i joined MDJunction to me it has been a god send and a life saver. I have met and been able to converse freely with so many people in the same situation as myself, (that alone is a big help, to know your not alone) to be able to discuss and get good advice from a braud section of people. One of lifes hardest things is to discuss personal issues with friends/family and yet the mdj family is non judgmental and you will be made totally welcome to talk through any issue thats on your mind. There are forums for every known issue to mankind, to me MDJ.com has become my family extension, id be lost without these good people and the extremely good guide lines that group leaders help us all with to keep threads topical and friendly." (2steveb)
