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10/19/2008 04:50 PM

After this long...

justrembering
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

I did it again. I went for almost 2 months without injuring. Then today, just out of the blue...Bam. Took the knife and scratched real good. Even did it once, and went back over it again! What is wrong with me. Where are my coping skills? I was doing so good. With no actual reason at all. Anyone got any insights?
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10/19/2008 07:22 PM
sisters4life

What triggered it today?

10/20/2008 12:03 AM
Storm6751
Storm6751  
Posts: 712
Senior Member

no sorry ... until you can think of what your thoughts were on at the time.. we can only guess... you will be okay... just hang in there and remember we are here... just reach out ..

big hugs

Storm


10/20/2008 07:54 AM
justrembering
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

I had this song in my head - I hurt myself today - to see if I could feel, I focused on the pain, it's the only thing that's real. The only thing I can think of is that since I'm so stable I don't FEEL at all. I did experience a small loss this weekend. The exchange student we had went back to germany. But that shouldn't have done it. I really don't know what triggered it. But I did it. And I'm thinking about it again today!

10/20/2008 10:03 AM
CherrieAngel
CherrieAngel  
Posts: 1268
Senior Member

It's addictive, always remember that.

BIG HUGS!!!!


10/20/2008 10:05 AM
justrembering
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Yeah. But I never used to hurt myself like this before. It wasn't until I got manic on one of my new meds once that I tried to commit suicide that I really started it being an addiction. I don't like it. I want it to go away. Can't I just go back to drinking?

10/20/2008 05:48 PM
Storm6751
Storm6751  
Posts: 712
Senior Member

c'mon chick you know yourself that will only hide the problem it will still be there when you sober up... and it will be even harder to fight the harm addiction then too.

write in your diary... rant and whatever you may find that something somes out that you didnt even realising you were thinking about.

remember to stay active keep the endorphins going and come in here talk ok..

im here ... keep strong and stay positive every cloud has a silver lining we just need to try to see what it is.

big hugs

Storm


10/20/2008 10:45 PM
pixiedust430
pixiedust430  
Posts: 2414
VIP Member

Sorry to join this so late. Internet went down. All addictions have the same basis. They are an unhealthy coping skill. If you are talking about going Back to drinking then is it possible that was an addiction. The alcoholic anonymous book (the steps) is used in ALL sorts of addictions. The only dif is versions are printed that replace alcoholic anonymous with overeater, self injurer and other drug addictions. Journaling will help you figure out what triggers you and sets you off. After a few weeks or less you should plainly see the problem. Lack of control, anger, even just getting in a routine that causes you to not have to think much can make you feel numb and need pain. whatever it is we are here for you and will help you all we can! Big hugs!

10/21/2008 08:01 AM
justrembering
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

I like the idea of getting in a routine. My routine is so blah right now that I crave something! Even SI. I never was a big drinker, but lately would rather be drinking than injuring.

10/21/2008 03:40 PM
Thyqua
Thyqua  
Posts: 127
Member

joinin this late too, but jus wanted to say, going two months without injuring yourself is something - think about that and how great it would be to go even longer...might not mean much right now but can be done. don't turn to drinkin, as the others have said just another addiction and gonna cause the same problems. i think it's a real tie between feeling too much and wanting to cut or not feeling enough and having the same issue. i managed to not hurt myself for a coupla years but might have been at my most boring at that stage!

just try to get through this bit and figure what's causing it. hope that maybe works a bit?!

thyqua...xx

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