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03/20/2012 07:04 AM

I don't know how to stop(page 2)

pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Aw honey, I'm sorry. But it doesn't stop you from getting some professional help. See a pdoc, get a therapist. It will be great for you. They do have meds that control the urges.
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03/20/2012 07:09 AM
roxyrox
 
Posts: 7
Member

Oh im in meds big time and i do see a psychiatrist and i have 2 social workers. Lithium was just added to my regimen but it can take a couple of weeks till it kicks in.

03/20/2012 08:28 AM
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Ok, make sure you talk to them about some treatment. Be sure to show them your scars. It seems to me you are crying out for help.

03/23/2012 03:57 PM
BipolarRuth
BipolarRuth  
Posts: 451
Senior Member

I indeed have experience with what your going through. Maybe its at your best interest to see a therapist, call a hotline or just vent on here. We'd love to help you.

03/24/2012 11:54 PM
roxyrox
 
Posts: 7
Member

I saw my social worker on tuesday and wednesday, she now wants me to see her twice a week because once a week is not enough anymore, while i was in her office i had rwally bad urges and i voiced them saying i need a knife or scissors now, i need to do some damage now. On wednesday i felt extremely depressed from when i got up till about 3 pm. Thursday and friday i had no urges and was feeling a little better, I saw the psychiatrist and told him that I was feeling ok for the past day or two and thought that the Lithium is kicking in and things will start to look up from now on but I guess I was mistaken because friday night i became depressed again, anxious and had another crying spell at 2 am. Im noticing that any tiny thing can set me off, frusteate me or make me anxious and then I get the urges again, I know it may sound stupid but every time I see anyone getting a hug it makes me angry that its not me getting that hug and that turns on the urge. My social worker says I need to learn to self sooth but Ive tried different things but they dont help at all. One thing that makes everything harder is the fact that I grew up in a community that is very close minded and people are not affectionate in public to other adults and that really sucks because I dont have anyone who I can go to when Im feeling down or having an urge, noone to give me a hug, hold me, or tell me that its gonna be ok. And if I do find someone who is a little more open minded Its literally impossible to ask, its social anxiety combined with fear of rejection and the words just get stuck in my throat and wont come out, then I hurt myself again because Im mad at myself for not being able to verbalize my needs.

04/15/2012 09:18 PM
roxyrox
 
Posts: 7
Member

Hi everyone, I know I havent posted in a while, was busy and had a hectic few weeks but I did want to let everyone know that I'm thank god feeling a loooot better, the new medication is kicking in, the depression is gone, as are the urges and the cutting. I did notice that some of the days Im a little manic, but thank god, no major mood swings and no crying spells.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support.

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