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05/06/2012 11:45 AM

Do I go along with or challenge delusions?

helpmyson
Posts: 6
New Member

Just joined because I don't know what to do. We are not sure if our 27 year old son is schizophrenic. Something has been "wrong" for about 10 years. It started in teens as anger, evolved into depression. We joined NAMI and after a significant job loss he went to a psychiatrist and was treated for depression/adult ADD. He lives alone in another state.

Recently, he quit his "day job" to start a business and encountered significant stresses. He was clearly angry and agitated about what transpired (someone falsely accused him of not sending merchandise, then attempted to get him to give their money back or they would post a bad review of him).

In the week after this, he began talking about the universe, space/time, his superior intelligence, and his ability to see into the future. He began calling us and talking non-stop for hours. He only rarely became angry, and would immediately apologize. Most of the time he told us how important we were to him and how much he loves us and how relationships are the most important thing during our time on earth.

In the past two days he revealed he had "met" someone (a famous person) but is cagey about how he "communicates" with her. He asks us if she has called us. We have gently challenged him, but haven't pushed as he is now absolutely certain they will spend the rest of their lives together.

I tried calling his Dr on Friday (office closed) and had him paged twice, but he never called back so I wrote a letter to his office.

What should I do about my son's continued and escalating assertions about this famous person's interest in him.

Please tell me what to do.

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05/07/2012 05:32 AM
barelymanic
barelymanic  
Posts: 3253
VIP Member

I don't see the harm in someone believing that a famous person is interested in them. Unless they do something illegal like become a stalker, I wouldn't make an issue out of it. That's just my personal opinion of course.

05/07/2012 08:58 AM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16693
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Medications help. He should see a psychiatrist and get another diagnosis. It sounds like he is delusional and hopefully it doesn't turn into psychotic. He could have a few different mental illnesses. He won't know until he sees a psychiatrist. I hope that he will be willing to go to one. It's hard when people are in this type of thing. They think nothing is wrong with them. Support him through this and try to encourage him to see the doctor. I hope that you can get some answers soon. He sounds like he loves you very much. You will get support here. Everyone is really nice and you will find some good friends. Welcome to the group!

05/07/2012 04:47 PM
helpmyson
Posts: 6
New Member

Thanks for replying. He is seeing his psychiatrist tomorrow.

05/13/2012 02:41 PM
MMollie
MMollie  
Posts: 438
Member
I'm an Advocate

Remember, every step is an achievement. Having a psychiatrist appt and going to an appt are two different things. After he goes, specially if this is a new Pdoc, it may take a bit of time to get a right diagnosis. Then again, it may not. Depends on the mental health facility. Some have strict ways of doing things.

Almost certianly, a labs will be taken because viral infections and some physical ailments can cause delusions and hallusinations. After the physical tests are taken, if it's found out nothing physically is wrong with him, they will see what they can do for him mentally.

Almost certianly they will set him up with a therapist. That will say alot, even if he doesn't talk. The mixture between the therapist and the psyciatrist will give them a clearer vision of what he's got.

Theses are some of my experience dealing with the mental health facilities.

Good luck to you. Encourage and get him to talk as gently as possible. I can say what I think it sounds like. But I don't know him or all the stuff that's going on with him.

Another peice of advice, knowledge is power. Study about the different things that you believe it sounds like. After obtaining a diagnosis, study about the diagnosis. Find out all the information you can. Read, read, read.

Again, Good Luck!


05/15/2012 08:26 PM
LisaNatureGirl1963
LisaNatureGirl1963Posts: 8
Member

It is difficult being the parent of an adult child with mental illness. My thoughts on your dilemma are based on support groups I've attended and on what has helped me and my son.

Regardless of what is true in the world, his relationship and interactions with the famous people are real to him in his mind. Hopefully his doctor has gotten your message regarding your son's recent change in condition. perhaps you could contact his receptionist during the week and ask what is the best method for contacting the doc (phone, text, email?) should you happen to notice changes in your son's condition that you'd like the doc to be aware of.

As the loved one of someone who suffers schizophrenia, bipolar, or psychosis, the best we can do is to keep the lines of communications with them wide open. Directly challenging his beliefs usually won't help him "get over his thoughts" and it might just drive a wedge between the two of you and his willingness to share with you in the future.

Asking why he believes such and such, or how he feels about so and so allows you and your son discuss his feelings and his reality without having to agree or disagree whether it is true. If, for instance, your son believes that a famous person on TV is communicating to him directly through the TV (something my son used to think) you could ask him what he thinks about that person. You could say something like "oh yes, I've seen that star on TV. To me, she seems like a nice lady/good actress/intelligent, but I've never met her in person..."

My thoughts are with you on this journey.

Lisa


05/17/2012 10:52 AM
barelymanic
barelymanic  
Posts: 3253
VIP Member

Thank you Lisa, that is such a nice way to put it.

05/20/2012 05:14 PM
helpmyson
Posts: 6
New Member

Thank you, Lisa.

Neither of my communications with the Drs office went well. The Dr wouldn't talk to my husband or me, but we were told to email our concerns.

After we first emailed and expressly told the Dr that if our son knew we were writing, it would cause him great distress, the psychiatrist told my son exactly what his father and I said, and even told him that his father had forwarded portions of our son's emails (we did this only to help the Dr see the way our son was thinking about things). Our son felt betrayed and furious at us for this.

His condition continued to deteriorate over the next few days, so I drove 600 miles to where he lives, thinking somehow I could help him-get him to come home with me or get him to go back to the psychiatrist, or into a hospital, or?

He was initially very glad to see me, but I found him in a financial crisis-which I spent a whole day attempting to resolve (tickets, fines, expired license tag, license suspended, phone bill not paid) but he became hostile and resistant and more entrenched in his delusions (Lisa, I did exactly what you said to say about the famous singer) and in the end he told me to get out of his house or he would call the police. I ended our visit telling him I loved him.

I went back home and immediately emailed the Drs office with some information that I thought was pertinent (my son told me he had never informed his Dr about his alcohol/drug abuse history and his heart murmur) as the medication the Dr has him on has a contraindication against this. I also mentioned my son not sleeping at all (he napped a few minutes here and there but didn't sleep over the 36 hours I was there), and about the delusions about the singer.

Well, again, the Drs office called my son and told him about my email which drove a further wedge between us. He called me with pure hate toward me, calling me foul names, and debasing me to the extreme. I tried to continue to assure him of my love and concern. The only good that came of it is he said the Dr told him he needed to get a 2nd opinion, and he said he agreed to do this.

I know now even less what to do.


06/06/2012 11:45 AM
All41N14All
Posts: 6
New Member

Hi,

Sorry to hear your son is experiencing some form of mental illness. All I know is the things I've experienced. When your mind is sending your brain delusional thoughts even if you you find them hard to believe ... you usually go along with them until they start to hurt you or your loved ones or they impair your ability to work, socialize , evento do the most basics tasks of daily life. I'm so happy to hear your son believes that relationships are the most important things in life ... gosh I completely agree. Family support is so so important. I have a friend who's Bi-polar and when he gets real manic he always believes he John F. Kennedy. Then after such episodes he has such clarity of mind that you would never know he is mentally impaired. I ask others to point out to me if I become delusional or paranoid just GENTLE reminders of reality. If my loved ones allow me to continue and even myself to believe delusional thoughts I'd never know that I do need help. Like meds,a doctor and counseling. I've learned that I can pick and choose what thoughts I want to believe. So, I try to forget the negative ones or ones that are "harmful" and read books or pray thinking things that are uplifting yet are based in "reality". Mental illness makes a person have to struggle internally with his own self. A daily battle to stay rooted in truth and peace. Blessing ...


06/06/2012 02:11 PM
helpmyson
Posts: 6
New Member

Thanks so much for your personal insight All41N14All. That is really helpful to know.
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