mushy
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OMG! I was just sitting here writing o someone else and saying thant I'm not sure to accept this diagnosis because, YES...we've all seen the schiz on the movies and God can only help this from happening to us. It's dreadful, butI know that ith the right meds, we will be o.k. Still struggling, but a little more functionable. I was on a great program with meds, unfortunately, i lost my dissability hearing, so no social security, no state help getting mental health treatment....I mean I even had to get a note from my shrink to get my driver's license saying I wasn't a harm to myself or others behind the wheel. So all this results in I can't wrk, my shrink is 150 a month and my meds are over500 per month plus one company ho gives me certain other meds for free. But I have to be uder a srinks care and I can't even afford that. Things just keep going downhill. The vioices are coming back stronger and meaner. Paranoia...so sure there's some "one" out therelooking in, or maybe even in here watching. I don't get much sleep. When I wake up a lot of the times, I don't know where I am at, because the dream thougts keep spilling over. I wonder was that real, did it happen. Luckily, there is a wonderful man keeping this together for me. He listens, when he can, and I understand when to back off because really, you have to admit...the shit that is going on in my head is confusing and frustrating to me and I have to deal with it. Bu some of it is so unimaginable for someone on the outside having to hear about it don't ya think. I love him for that, for letting me be, and still always bing with me. At least I have help now, but if things keep getting worse and I end up like how this disease is depicted to the public, he'd deffinately stay because he loves me, but I wouldn't want to put him through that.Sorry for writing the book in response, but when I get going, my head won't just stop. Sorry. Good luck. |
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