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04/28/2012 09:12 AM

Panic and STRESS

kjv1956
kjv1956  
Posts: 937
Member

Running to my MD family for feedback.

I have been tring to update my resume and cover letter for a Job Posting I would like to have. Everytime I try to do something there is a road block. My system must have an older version of word as no one seems to be able to open what I send. So faxed some of the info to my sister for proofing as a 32 yr vetran english teacher. She won't type it up in an email so now must wait to get the fax back. I was trying to fill out the online app but it won't let me print it. It must be sumbitted online with the documents that for some reason won't open. Then to top that off the instructions are to send the packet to one of our Supervisors and not to HR. So how in the world do you print and send something that won't allow that process. So when I get all the info together I will submit online and then take a resume and cover letter to the supervisor.

NOW - while I am trying to get that done I hear water. Look outside and there is no rain. Look around and POW the lady upstairs fell asleep with the water running in the tub which overflowed. My apt is now a mess and very wet. There are men everywhere cleaning up the water. When they are done then I have to clean up the mess.

Now I question if I should even go for the job. Stress is something we are to avoid. Heck I am a mess and really need feedback from those who understand. I want to be able to move up in the world but don't want to get in over my head and then have a big flare and not be able to do the job.

As you can tell I am not one bit focused and some out of control. Not like me. Trying so hard to focus one one thing at a time but feel as if I am being pushed and pushed. Don't know if I should push through as a test, or if this is telling me I am getting in over my head. Confusion is not good. I will shut up now and watch for the MDJ wisdom that I have come to depend on.

kjv1956

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04/28/2012 09:31 AM
PauleR
PauleR  
Posts: 1819
Group Leader

First, you should not have to clean up from the flooding. This should be done by the people trying to dry everything. Insist that they clean up as soon as the water is cleaned up. Also, make sure they follow through if there is any damage. Your upstairs neighbours Insurance should be paying for all this.

Secondly, if you have any concerns about applying, maybe you should wait until you feel better. There will be other opportunities and when you feel better, you will be better equipped to do up your resume, attend an interview and then do the new job. This is just my suggestion, do what is best for you, not what you think you should do.

Really, consider the pros and cons. Good luck in making a decision and getting the water damage dealt with.


04/28/2012 11:15 AM
bits
bits  
Posts: 10865
VIP Member

I totally agree with PaulR. Sound advice.

Is there anyway you can not think about it for awhile? Become calm then consider your options?

Hugs


04/28/2012 12:04 PM
libyana
libyana  
Posts: 331
Member

I say that you need to step back for a bit & relax(easy said) then when you are more focused decide what is more important..health or a new job??????

I am sending ((HUGS))

Libyana


04/28/2012 03:29 PM
kjv1956
kjv1956  
Posts: 937
Member

I am trying to figure out if the new job is going to be eaiser on me than carrying 140 on a caseload. It has been over seven yrs since I updated a resume or written a cover letter. I am always surprised when I discover that my computor systems don't work with some online process, then you spend all of your time trying to upgrade and make things work. My job has been very stressful and I come home brain dead and exhausted. I am hoping the new position will be different and workable. Just really don't know if I am able physically to do any job. My normal way of doing things is refusing to accept that I have limitations. I don't want to be seen as unable to what I want to do.

For some reason I can't seem to get my mind and body to be on the same page. I know that I have reached a crises point emotionally when my mind will not settle.

I guess there needs to be some background here. My 25 yr relationship fell apart three months ago, my foot surgery has left problems that cannot be fixed. I had to give up several jobs that I have wanted due to my health. So now my employer is not sure of my stability. In fact I can't guarntee it myself. This scares me no end. I am alone and not sure what is happening to me or where this is going to go. Yet, I do not have the option of not trying as I cannot live on social security disability or SSI. I can't stop working long enough to qualify and survive. I am so tired that I am not sure what to do. All i can do is put one foot in front of the other and let God do the rest.

kjv1956


05/01/2012 04:04 PM
kym
kym  
Posts: 531
Member

Hi kjv,

I agree with Paulette and the others. And I recommend a hot bath and chocolate, or at least that's what I do when I'm stressed to my limit.

I think I understand your feelings about working in the future. I am going back to teaching in the fall and I've been thinking of going back to grad school, but feeling so much anxiety about making commitments and not being able to fulfill them. And biting off more than I can chew.

Recently there was a discussion here about working with RA. I am very fortunate (for the first time in my life, thanks to new hubby) that I do not have to work outside the home if I don't want to or cannot. I posted something about how relatively mild my RA is in comparison to others. And then I wonder: if I had to be working full time now, would the RA be worse?

A job standing is out of the question. Repeated hand movements wouldn't work. I can type. I can sit on my can. I can think and read and I love people, still. But these are just minor mechanics of what it really means to commit yourself to any kind of challenging position. I couldn't call in because I'm having a bad RA day. I suppose there are medical leave programs where one can take time off as needed.

I can't imagine what I'd be going though if I hadn't met my husband when I did, or if he weren't so supportive, or if we really needed my income. I think back on my two careers as a single mom and even without the RA, I don't know if I could still pull that off.

(I'm just musing here about the issue)

I will be working part-time in the fall. I'll have responsibilities, mainly to students, but I'll also have time for resting, so I think it'll be ok.

But I think half the battle against working stress is KNOWING there's time to rest, days off to crash or for doc appts, and not the anxiety which might actually worsen the RA itself.

I don't know how so many people with RA -- and as severe as they describe -- manage to keep working full time. They amaze me, but they also break my heart when I hear how much pain they are in.

I hope that the new position (or something else that might come up for you) will be something you can really enjoy, and not too stressful. Or at least if your work gives you pleasure, I think it can be a lot less stressful.


05/02/2012 06:59 PM
kjv1956
kjv1956  
Posts: 937
Member

Thanks Kym, Feel like I'm writing to myself. Same name same spelling. Have no idea how I keep working day after day. I am trying to find something that is not so demanding on my body or so mentally stressful. I am so exhausted at by mid afternoon that I can hardly move. When I am rested as in several days off I feel much better and have an interst in things again. The thought of have to deal with the pain of RA without meds can send me into a state of fear. Can't let my mind go there.

kjv1956


05/02/2012 10:23 PM
kym
kym  
Posts: 531
Member

Kym! ding ding! Yay. Smile

(Wow I rambled in my post; thanks for reading it all.) I will be thinking of you and looking forward to hearing about the path you are on, and the questions and opportunities that come up for you, because these things are on my mind, too.

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