Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group

I went to see my Rheumy today and the appointment went well. He has continued my Plauqenil and I go back to see him in 3 months. We discussed my pain and how I felt. Over all I feel good but my feet and knees are really hurting of late. As we talked about it I gave him examples of how bad the pain can be such as taking 10 minutes to walk into my office building when is should take two because my feet hurt and I couldn't park close. I also told him about the times I've been walking my dog and my knees hurt so bad I don't know how I will make it back home. Matter of fact I'm still not sure how I made it home those days. So he suggested that I get a Disability placard for my car. This is great, right?! Then why do I feel suddenly so depressed about it? I guess I feel like I'm giving in to this disease and I'm only 30 years old and now need a disability placard. Don't get me wrong I'm greatful for him listening and suggesting I do this. It is actually a big relief now I don't have to dread getting to work and wonder how long it'll take to get inside (really not fun on rainy/cold days). Sorry guess I just wanted to whine a little bit. Thanks all for listening. I know I don't post often but I read the posts everyday. You all are truly great.

Post edited by: Deirdre, at: 02/17/2011 11:28 AM

Whine ALL you want!!! Here is great because we know we can whine whenever we need to and will be heard.

You can see the disability placard like this: we have to deal with a lot of crap from "the system". There is lots of injustice we have to deal with, plus general misunderstanding from society. So this is a chance for you to, this time, use the system in your favor. It is not about you being less, or being "young-but-not", but about "working it"

I'm glad the appt went well, but can understand the mixed feeling about the placard. I have foot issues and there are days when it feels like I'm walking barefoot on broken glass. I will be asking about a placard myself at my appt next month, and totally feel the same way as you.

Cata thank you SO much. You are so right. I usually don't get down like this but today it just hit me hard. Thanks for the support .

Francis I know how you feel but instead of walking on broken glass, for me it feels like my bones have been shattered. That's how I described it to my Dr. I just never realized that you could hurt so bad and really not have anything visible (like trauma, bleeding etc) besides some swelling and maybe redness. Good luck with your appt next month.

Post edited by: Deirdre, at: 02/17/2011 12:33 PM

Deirdre, I got my handicapped placard, and I don't use it all the time.. I DO use it when I'm having a particularly bad time with my feet, knees, ankles, and back , and then it's been a lifesaver! You'll be thankful for having to walk less. If you have a day when you're feeling better, you don't HAVE to use it if you don't want. That way you'll have the choice of using it. I felt guilty at first too, but then I looked at the people in my building who have them and I didn't feel so bad. Apparently many of them have "invisible" diseases too....

So, go ahead.. it may make you feel better physically in the long run to not have that additional stress on your joints.

Dierdre,

I totally understand your feeling depressed about needing a Disability placard. It just brings home to you how disabling this dreaded disease can be. It's like finally admitting that you have a potentially disabling illness that you have no control over. Recently, I've been feeling that way, because a terrible flare left me unable to drive. So maybe that's what is happening with you. I hope not having to walk too far, will help you feel better. Good luck!

When I got my handicap card and saw it said permanent I burst out bawling. I thought it would say temporary. Truly, I felt like I had been slapped in the face.

Like Karen, I don't have to use it all the time. Just 99% of the time.

It really does make a huge difference. Look at it this way (I did) it is not a reminder you need it, it gives you added freedom. Freedom to go more places. Freedom to have less pain. Freedom to have more choices. Freedom to take back what had been lost. Freedom...what a lovely way to live.

And you must have the freedom to bare your soul, to open up, to express how you are feeling. Laughter as well as crying, happiness as well as sadness, courage as well as fear, stability as well as confusion, hopefulness as well as hoplessness, strength as well as weakness, acceptance as well as denial.

We all have and will continue going through different emotions. However we are felling is ok...here we bare ourselves, standing naked (so to speak) before each other. And we are not ashamed because the others clothe us with their very own clothes.

Many hugs dear friend.

I have a card too....I use it only when I need it.

Thanks all so much for the encouragement and support. I'm not so upset about it today. I'm making my peace with the whole idea actually. I took my paperwork to the doctor yesterday to get his signature and the clinic called today and asked if I wanted permanent or temporary. I said I thought that was up to the doctor. She said he didn't decide it was up to me. So I said I guess permanent. She then says "lets do temporary you can always renew in three months if you still need it." I replied what I have isn't going away it's here forever. She still said temporary only. Why did she even ask me? Also I don't mind really but having to go through the whole process again of getting paperwork signed and getting to the DMV is time consuming. I've got a job I can't just take all this time off. I guess I just don't look that sick. Oh well at least I'm good for 3 months.

Even though mine is permanent, I still had to renew every 3 years until recently. Now, it is 5 years. My sis-in-law had terminal cancer and her's was for 10 years after she recieved it. She outlived the 10 years and had to renew again. Sadly, she died shortly after.

Is there one that you never have to renew?

De, there are many things we have to come to peace about. One way or another, with different time frames we do.

Like you, I wonder why that nurse asked which type you wanted. Then didn't let you choose. ??? I think it was smart to choose permanent.