Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group

Some much has changed in 24 hours. Yesterday was miserable. I hadn't slept well in a few days, I had to go to my first PT session, I was flaring, and I was mad.

Every joint was on fire, overwhelming fatigue would be an understatement, my diposition was so bad I really needed to be in a bar and brawl with the big guys.

Nothing went right. Had to sit for 20 mins past appointment and then spent the next 35 mins lying on the table (because of severe pain) answering questions. We did get 2 mins of PT in. Which was just as well since all movement was painful.

Hubby went to a nice restaurant and brought me back a dinner. Wrong order. Then he takes it back and what do you think? Half of my order. I was so mad I wanted to fling my dinner against the wall.

All my loved ones stayed away from me because I wanted to be alone. I was just too hateful to be around. I'm talking serious anger issues.

I have a neighbor that drains his inground pool into my driveway and I have warned him about this for the past few years. Does he listen? All I could think of yesterday as we were coming up the driveway was I hoped I could catch him so I could beat the daylights out of him. Told you...serious anger issues.

When I told my hubby this, as we were coming up the driveway, he laughed. Boy, was he lucky because then I wanted to slap him into tomorrow.

Happy to say, I was back to my old sweet self this morning. Nature was pretty, my loved ones voices were music to my ears, and I no longer wanted to beat up my male neighbor.

I've been thinking about why I reacted with such anger and rage. I have had many, many days of pain, stiffness, overwhelming fatigue...so what happened?

I think I was not mad at any specific thing, I think I was was mad at RA. I think all the suppressed emotions I had held in came not only to the boiling point but EXPLODED.

For 24 hours I let it out. It was ugly. Nothing pretty about it. But you know what, maybe it is like tears. Like when you have a good cry and you feel some relief. Maybe, just maybe that is what happened.

I'm not sure about any of it but today I feel good. Still have pain and stiffness but not as bad. Still am tired but not as bad. Maybe my body and mind was in overload. Maybe something had to give.

Anyone else experienced something like this?

Hugs

Bits, I totally understand. I have learned that when I get depressed, I don't cry -- I scream. The smallest thing will set me off. Being on prednisone makes it even worse. Sometimes, I just yell into a pillow for a while. And, then it goes as quickly as it came. If it happens again, just ride it out. Know that 24 hours DO make a difference.

Amy

Bits, heck yeah.

We had a house guest for a few weeks this summer. And of course I continued my one thing I do every day, if nothing else, and that is make a good meal for us when my husband comes home. One day I was exhausted- RA exhausted-, nauseous, and my back was hurting when I was standing cooking in the kitchen. So I couldn't wait to grab a plate and go sit down. I filled my plate, then my husband took it from me, thinking it was his. Then our house guest was expecting the next plate. I filled another plate then set it down on the counter and let out a primal ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Out of nowhere. It freaked me out, and them, too. Silence. But I felt some relief from that. Then I picked up the plate, told our house guest he knew where the food was, and went and sat down to eat in my basement office/cubby hole. When hubbs came down I chewed him out for taking the plate from my hands. Didn't he see how miserable I was? Is it OK IF I GET THE FIRST PLATE?!!

Oy.... luckily he took it in stride, learned to be more thoughtful since, and we all recovered. The next day I was fine. And I learned to pay closer attention to my limits, lest I smash up against the proverbial brick wall again and again.

Like you, I'm mad at RA. REALLY mad. Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. And I'm not going to take it anymore! Except that I know I am going to have to take it, and there's only so much I can do about that. {{{{bits}}} You're cool. You're alive and you're fighting.

bits- and everyone

oh yeah, I've been there, probably will be again at some point. Prednisone really exaggerates what I was already feeling-anger, frustration,grief, hopelessness,misunderstood, exhausted.

.

I actually made an appt. with a therapist. I think after five years of pain of course I was/am depressed. I'm trying to climb out of it. I started going to water aerobics, painting, going to church more often. That has helped me a lot so far.

You are not alone. Hang in there-

Andrea