Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group

Do your family and friends get it? I feel like my whole world has been turned up side down and my family and friends just dont get it. It's like they can't see it, so why are you complaining??? It's like... you don't look bad, why aren't you at work?

It's like I say "I found out I have RA"... and they say "oh, that's too bad. Will you pass the chips?" PPl are being that interested...!

It's making me furious and upset at how insensitive they are to the whole thing... like I just said "I have a sinus infection"...

I am not handling this well today at all...

How do you all handle this type of reaction?

It took my mom a trip to the Rheumy with me to see that I am not faking all this (why would I?) The Doc wanted to see how flexible I was and I cracked and popped with winces of pain to show that this is all real.On the way home was "I'm sooo soorrrry"..And then theres the "You don't look sick" I want to strangle someone when they say that. I never would wish this disease on anyone but, I would like someone who says "I understand" when you try and explain how you feel to have our pain for a few days and come back and tell me how it was. When you say you have Rheumitoid Arthritis they dont see the Rheumitoid part. "You are too young for arthritis" is another one. After explaining yourself for what seems like hours then you hear "You'll get better" Haven't you been listening to anything I've said? It doesn't go away unless you get a remission like cancer. So now when someone asks me how I am , I ask Are you sure you want to know? I know exactly how you feel I tell em all to look it up on the internet or the library...

*very gentle HUGGGGGS*

Thx Matty matt.

I just dont' know what to say any more. PPl say that to me 'you're too young to have arthritis' and it's really not even arthritis... it's an autoimmune disease. My dr. even said the disease is named wrong.

I am thinking about quitting my job and working via the internet / teaching. If I could find a position....

I just do not like where my life is going right now. I think it's because I feel so alone.

Thx so much for your support.

I can barely do housework without feeling exhausted..You hasve a job yet.Lots of respect that you can keep a job. Yeah if i could be on the net more I would def give internet job a try. Good luck with that and don't forget you can always come here and let it all out,it really helps especially with all the members here going thru this in the various stages. I know it is hard to be positive but, just keep your head up (if it does'nt hurt too much) and just look forward to the next day..

It's not the pain but the exhaustion that gets to me... I don't have any other side effects from the MTX other than a slight headache and extreme exhaustion. Other than that, it seems to be taking care of the pain.

Thx mattymatt. You've been a great help to me.

Sandy

A few months ago, my ex mother in law, who is in another state told me, "your the mother, you need to get up and pull that wet carpet out of there bedroom yourself." I was in full blown RA flare up at the time and picking up a pencil was more then i could handle. I was so pissed. I emailed her back saying, "I'm so sick of people who have no idea what kind of pain I'm dealing with, telling me what I can and can't do." Nothing came of the exchange, but it felt good to be able to snap at her. lol

Yes. I was 5'8 and weighed 130-135. I had to take hormone pills for endometriosis and i also felt so tired - all the time. i gained 60 lbs. people cannot seem to help pointing out to me that i'd feel better if i lost weight. my joints would be better if i lost weight. pbbbtt i guess the weather would be better if i lost weight. i try. i can lose 10 lbs and then... even with not eating more or anything, it comes back on.... usually after i've ached all over and been more tired than usual.

yes. it feels quite good to vent. we may be learning patience and to overlook people but, sometimes, it feels good to vent.

I know exactly how you feel. My dad said to me you can't act like you have a disease. And doctors will tell you anything. And everyone has something. I wish they understood. But it seems as though they don't care to. My mom gets it so that's comforting. She has many serious health complications herself. I just say sometimes oh I have an autoimmune disease. Then people kinda get the severity of it.

3cuties,

I know what you mean by saying 'autoimmune disease'. When I say arthritis, pple think I just need to take an advil and move on. My DR even said that the disease is named wrong... because it isn't arthritis. That's what I've been telling my mom and she is starting to get it. She's sympathetic anyway. My husband tries but I think what he's worried about is the money (and me)... but the money because I make more than he does.

Thx for all of your support.

Sandy

I have had RA for 4 yrs. and it still amazes me that people are so insensitive. Because we have at times what seems to be an invisible disability to others, they don't understand. It is very frustrating to try to explain RA and then have someone say " Oh, I have arthritis in my knee, or "you don't look sick", or they tell you what they took for a minor pain they had and think that if you take it that it will cure you.

I usually don't bother explaining RA....at work, If I have to wear my hand splints or ankle wraps, that is when I will get the questions...did you sprain your wrist, or what did you do to your ankle?....I now keep the explanation , short, and just say , no, I didn't hurt myself, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis.

If they look perplexed, I then say its an autoimmune disease.

Yes, it can be difficult to try to make others understand RA, I for one don't put the effort in anymore to educate the ignorant.