How do you make people understand?

I'm kind of in the same situation with no support from my loved ones. They think I lie about my pain and "fake it" to get out of doing things. They have been to the doctor with me to hear what they have to say. They know how the disease acts and that it can be bad one day but not the next. They just don't want to believe it. Has he gone to the doctor with you? Can you have the doctor explain it to him? It may help. I have pamphlets around the house but they only read the parts that say don't "enable" the sick person. They don't see the rest that ays that support is important, that stress is harmful, and that i need to rest..... WHEN I NEED TO REST! It drives me nuts!!!!

Now my baby was diagnosed with JRA. She has the same troubles I have and they treat her differentl because she is a baby. Not that they shouldn't treat her that way, but I thought they would understand what I go through more.....boy was I wrong!

You may want to check out the fibromyalgia group and look through some of their posts. They may have tips for dealing with family members. They have alot more group members than this one. Almost 900. I'd love to talk anytime you need to. You can PM me any time!

Take care, Chris

One other thought, maybe the local hospital can hook you up with a local RA support group. It would be good to take him to one of those meetings so that he can hear firsthand how much problems RA gives a person. If not the hospital, maybe your rheum. Dr knows of a support group. Sometimes people need to hear others discussing to see that it is very real how it flip-flops from 'good one day' to 'pain and exhausted' the next.

Know that you have friends here who understand where you're coming from. And please...feel free to vent whenever you need to. If you don't feel like putting it into the forum, write one of us a p.m. so it's more private. We ALL need to vent sometimes, and it is NOT good to keep it pent up inside! Keeping it pent up only adds to more stress, which is not good for the mind OR body We are all here for you and wish that we could help you more. Hugs...Joy

I pretty much used guilt to win my mom over. Showing her my swollen joints, saying how much I hurt and using comparisons for it too, etc.. Eventually she understood that I didn't not do my chores because I didn't want to - but because I hurt too much. Before I would never say anything about my pain, I never complained about it, never talked to her about it..nothing. Back then I'd be accused of using my JRA as a crutch to get out of my chores. This time around I made it clear that I was really in pain, even staying home from things I WANTED to do from the pain (before I'd suck it up like the crazy kid that I was ).

I also sat down and had a talk with her about how I would LOVE to be independent and LOVE to be able to care for myself but the reality is that I am dependent and I CAN'T care for myself (which includes doing chores when I'm hurting - though now I'm not even allowed to do them when I offer to ).