Hello, my name is Melissa.
It´s the first time for me to look for a support group, and i guess it always comes a time when you want to talk about what you´ve been through.
With just a few months old, my mom started to feel worried that i might have "something", call it sixth sense, but without any important physical reason, she became obssesed with the idea that something was wrong, she began a search for doctors, and everyone said i was fine, some, even called her crazy.... but she was right , and after a long time, they finally diagnosed me with retinoblastoma.
Back then, this type of cancer was almost unknown in Mexico(where i am from)and it was even a miracle they could even diagnose it.
Unfortunatelly they were no able to save my right eye, and i was even considered a terminal patient. My parents were devastated...
Then they suggested chimo, but at the very last minute they decided that they would not put me through that.
Then they took me to italy for a experimental treatment and a few more hospitals,and eventually all they had to do was to wait it would not come back.... its been more than 30 years, and im happy to say that it didnt!
I´ve lived my life the best i can, and i have to be honest... sometimes im grateful, and sometimes it makes my wonder why me?
Althouh my parents might not see it clearly, i know that my cancer changed they way our family lived and worked. i have an older brother, and ever since i got sick, all their concerns were focused on me, even long after the worst happended..., and he grew up resentful of me, and not feeling part of us.
I´ve known it for a long time now, but its has come the time to try to heal those wounds, to accept what happened and make peace with it, and help my family heal as well..
thank you for listening....
"I have suffered from depression most of my life, but had some long, non-depressed times. The last 16 years have been an on-going, constantly worsening nightmare for me medically, socially and with my family. 11/2008 to the present has been the worst time in my life, and new things just keep piling up. During that time I’ve gone from being mostly homebound to being totally homebound due to the errors of about 2 dozen doctors who overmedicated me so badly that I came home w/ 4 conditions I didn’t go in with. I spent months wanting to die, and finding MDJ may well have saved my life. It’s one of the worst feelings to know that nobody on earth needs you for anything; but now that I’ve been a group leader for awhile, there are people here who need me. Thanks MDJ." (Sylvia4648)
