Retinitis Pigmentosa Support Group

I have had RP for a long time now and like most folks driven for quite a few years after being diagnosed. Again like most folks, made the decision that it wasn't safe anymore.. I have a wife and a young kid who often reminds me of how cool it was when we just drove to the beach or went here or there and how he misses all that. he is only six but my wife isn't.. she refuses to learn to drive even after realising how difficult it is at times to get things done.. Most places are such that you need a car to get about and ours is one of those places. I have tried countless times to encourage her to atleast give it a try but 12 months on here I am venting my frustration. Am I being selfish? Asking too much? Can I even trust this person will stand by my side when things get worse with my vision?

"sigh"

Well, Ansha, that's a loaded question. But, first, I'd like to welcome you to the group. Not sure if you've been 'lurking' for awhile but I see that it's your first post. You picked the right place to vent -- we've all been there about one thing or another. As far as your wife -- not sure what her reasons are for not wanting to drive but seeing that she's an adult and doesn't drive, it seems there would be a reason? But, you're right -- it's really difficult (not impossible) to get around these days without a car in the house. Is there an option to move somewhere where things are in walking distance or public transportation available? Very inconvenient and more difficult to not have a driver, I know, but I know people who (somehow) do it.

Obviously, I don't know ya'll's relationship but not wanting to drive doesn't necessarily point to her not being by your side as your vision deteriorates. Has she ever given a reason for not wanting to drive?

So sorry you're having these struggles. Transportation is a BIG issue with us RPers. Good luck!

Hi and welcome to the group. The reason for not driving is an important part of this, as f4s says. My hunch, based on experience, is that people who don't drive are afraid to, even if they don't admit it. I think that the fear can be fear of two things; embarrassment in front of people they know (you, in this case) and fear and embarrassment in public. I think one way to start would be to find a driving school that teaches driving skills in a closed environment to eliminate reason two, and I would send her alone, with no one she knows, not even you, to eliminate reason one. This needs to be her journey.

This may sound odd, but hear me out. If you live anywhere near a race track, look into a driving school located at the track. They usually offer defensive driving courses and a lot of other practical driving courses, and they have the ability to instruct while off of public streets.

Just my thoughts, based on a guess as to motive.

Thank you so much for your input guys.. I guess not having ever had the fear of learning to drive and driving successfully for many years I find it a bit hard to appreciate how someone who is not so confident about themselves might feel.. Monochrome thats an excellent Idea infact i took one of those lessons some years ago but sadly where we are right now there aint anything that exists. You see before she even enrolls with a driving school or the likes she needs to pass the theory and get her learners.. she has never held a licence. I have never gotten irriated or frustrated directly towards her for not making the effort. I even enticed her that we would buy a new car of her choice if she shows a genuine interest.. I just feel my son misses out on so much.. he cant go to swimming lessons picnincs outings.. Although God has blessed me with a great profession and a job I am able to retain for years to come.. I just feel I am not getting much return for the comforts the whole family enjoys from my efforts. This situation has even put me off from having more children..

Ansha, that is a loaded question...Of course no one could answer it without fully knowing the situation. I can't imagine why she would not want to learn to drive for the sake of the family. I've had bad women and good women in life and the one thing I've learned is that if you have to ask yourself the question...I too gave up my license some time ago and it's tough. I live in Houston and I've learned how to do what I gotta do without. It's been quite an adventure. Hope it works out and welcome to the group.