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04/19/2012 09:11 PM

Explanation of my absence from this board.......

Ms67GTO
Ms67GTO  
Posts: 5
Member

Firstly, I would like to apologize to this wonderful group. You have been there for me to commiserate with and your wisdom and concern have been invaluable. Friendships from this board will be cherished forever.

It is with a heavy heart that this will be my last post. Further medical complications have arisen causing a lot of pain to my hands/fingers - my keyboard has become my enemy! As you know, I too have RSD/CRPS, Raynaud's disease, Sjogren's Syndrome, and Depression. Since my last post, a much overdue diagnosis of Trigeminal Neuralgia was brought to life. Also been diagnosed with moderate deep venous reflux (left leg), an L4-5 disk bulge impinging on the nerve roots causing very severe low back and bil. leg pain. Most recent is unexplained involuntary jerking of my arms/legs, and hand tremors that come out of nowhere. I suffer from vertigo and my gait is unsteady and imbalanced. Now, for the "family picture". It's clear my husband is fed up with me and my "illnesses", and I'm not sure we'll make it through this. Did I mention I'm estranged from my brother and sister because they believe I've made all of my medical conditions up for "attention". Any of you heard this before???

I'm not trying to be a "downer' as I refuse to give in to a negative nature. I'm totally dependent on my Lord God for the strength to continue day after day. I have literally surrendered my body and mental status to Him as my mind forgets a lot and seems to have noticeably dulled. When I was very young, I watched my parents in awe as they danced so beautifully together. In perfect sync, they glided across the floor and I was envious. I used to break them apart cause I wanted in on the action. I'd ask my dad to "teach me" how to dance. His answer was "Honey, you're just a little too young to get the hang of this, but I can give you a "daddy/daughter dance". I had no idea what that was! When our record player dropped another "38" (Yup, I'm THAT old), music filled the room, my father lifted me up, set my little feet on each of his, reached down, grabbed my hands in his and WE were gliding, in perfect sync. I never felt more safe and secure knowing his muscular hands wouldn't let go, his feet would not let mine slip and, in that, I could make no mistakes for he was leading. My dad's great love for me allowed me to TRUST IN HIM!

Now I live life every day in the strong arms of my Father God. We, together, start our day with a "Daddy/daughter dance" that ends when I crawl into bed at night and fall asleep knowing my Abba Father will once again put His dancing shoes on and come for me, His daughter. I'm so grateful for all I have been blessed with and I'm Praising Him for taking the reigns out of my dysfunctional hands and placing them in His to forever direct my life's path.

I pray you all less pain, more understanding (especially from family), heaps of laughs, flow of tears giving frustration, fear, anger, pain an outlet, wisdom to discern which physician(s) and/or plan of treatment will best meet your needs, and a good therapist to handle the "mental mess" from all the pain. I love you all and will continue to pray for healing for all members. You are all life-savers - and I mean that literally!

Sherry

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04/19/2012 10:02 PM
revvanbus
revvanbus  
Posts: 2032
VIP Member

Sherry, Is your leaving us from the inability of your hands/arms to do the keyboard of the computer? I use Dragon Naturally Speaking to do much of my comunnicating on-line. I use a wireless microphone/speaker to read and write. I would not have to use the keyboard and moniter at all for my email and internet searches and such, but I still like seeing and reading so have not fully divorced myself from the moniter, mouse and keyboard.

If the problem has more to do with the will or desire to keep in contact, I can relate to that and will accept yoour decision with reluctance. I feel in your email how much the group has meant to you and how it has been an ongoing support for you. I hate that you are losing that. If you must go, blessings on you and hugs that will hopefully be remembered. May your spirit and faith sustain you. Know we still hold you up and will ever be here for you.

Rev.


04/20/2012 10:42 AM
cfthb
cfthb  
Posts: 872
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hi Sherry -

I can't amplify at all Rev's excellent post to you. I can tell you that losing family members is not uncommon. I read somewhere that chronic illness either makes a relationship stronger or it destroys it.

I lost my partner of 28 years because he got so involved in my illness, not believing that it was as horrible as it is, and decided it wasn't much fun being around a very sick partner. I still can scarcely believe it, and it happened 2 years ago.

I still mourn this loss, because I know, with every part of me, I would never abandon a partner because of their illness. If there was ever a time to stick with your partner, this is it! Whatever happened to "in sickness and in health"?

I hope one of Rev's suggestions can work for you. However, your decision to stay here is yours alone, and no one will judge you for doing what you know is right for you. I pray that you'll stay, but if you don't, you have my best wishes for dealing with your incredible collection of symptoms.

Howard


04/20/2012 09:03 PM
maddiesgram
maddiesgram  
Posts: 2330
Senior Member

Sherry,

I hope that you will know the group would love for you to be with us if you ever feel up to it. I'm so sorry that you are suffering with as much as you are. Your analogy of your daddy was so touching and I am also held together by the same Abba that you are. I will pray for you now and hope that you feel that we are with you in some way.

Sending prayers and hugs to you,

gail

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