Rape Support Group

I am feeling all alone , I know I have some friends who will talk when they can , I lost a friend bc I was raped she said that she can not help me untill I start going to see someone ... That she will not talk to me untill I see some one to talk to... I told her that I was not ready to go see someone and she said well I will not be calling you untill you do ... Also she will not talk to me about anything untill I get help with the rape .. So we have not been talking , it hurt me really bad when she said that to me and she did not even care ... Should I try and save our friendship or just end it , I want to end it bc I think what she is doin is not being a friend but at the same time I want to save it ... What should I do

Hi,

Tell your friend that i said it isnt good for survivors to go to therapy until they are ready. I bet your friend means well though.

She told me that I was ready and does not know why I wont go bc to her it was not that I was not ready it is bc I dont want to

Surround yourself with people who understand you. You deserve to be loved and cared for.

Only you know when your ready. Sometimes people will be ready but just a little scared to go, but they will eventually go. Maybe your friend is just trying to get you past that part.

Just go when your ready and want to go. You will get much more out of therapy this way.

I'm sure she means well tuff love and all that but only you know when you are ready to deal with it. Try to let her know that you want to be her friend and could use her friendship now more than ever but if this is her choice you will respect it and will call her when you are ready, if you want to. Sometimes people don't know what to do when they are confronted with something this unplesant and so they do the wrong thing. Just remeber that getting help is something in your control and it will help you deal with things, but only you can say when its time.

I think that someone who would ditch you in your time of need isnt a real friend, even though its a hard thing to handle and it can be hard to be someones friend when they are suffering. I think if she was a real friends she would find other ways to try to help not just run away.

Rachel

I am new here so apologize for the really late response. In my opinion..your friend has no idea what she is talking about. Therapy will not help unless you are ready and willing to participate and find a good therapist who understands. A true friend wouldn't tell you I am not talking to you until you get help. A true friend would admit I don't know what to say or do to help you but say that they are there for you if need to talk or just need someone to listen. You don't people like that in your life. I have stopped being friends with a lot of people for that reason because they are so ignorant and uncaring when it comes to things in life they have never had to deal with.

Defective lady, first welcome to the group. Second you are not defective. What ever has happned to give you that impression can be worked on. Third you are totaly right about a true friend admitting they are not sure how to respond and being there when needed. Anytime anyone here needs to talk,I am willing to listen.

Brenda

Thank you Brenda. As for the name..well it was how I was feeling at the time I joined. Even though I only joined a few days ago everyone on here is helping me to see that I am not alone. When I signed up I felt like everything was completely hopeless. I am 25 and feel like my body has given up and is just starting to fall apart. I know now that I am not alone..unfortunately I can' t change my name without signing up for a new account.