marymum
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hi my name is mary i am 48 years old married have 3 dogs and 2 cats, when i was 10 years old a friend and myself where walking home when 4 men pulled us into some trees and all 4 rape us, i did not know what was happening to me all i know was that i felt like i was going to die. when they had done what they wanted they just left us there, a women found us and called the police, they were never court. My friend killed herself at 15 not being able to live with what had happened i have try a few times, but it never worked, so i turned to drink and drugs, to get me through each day. i put in a room in my head and shut the door, it never happened to me it was something i read in a book. i got round to coming off the drugs and then the drink. that is were i met my husband, it was through him and with his help i was able to open that door and see the truth, it was me and i had to deal with it, it took me almost 30 years to sit down with my C.P.N. and tell her everything, it felt like it did then i could even snell the drink on them, i could feel everything like it was happening again, but i keeped on until i was able to talk to other people about what had happened to me. My husband is my rock, he knows when i am having a bad day without having to tell him and he is there for me. i can life with myself now because for a long time i blamed myself for everything and now i know that is not the case. the only thing that would make it perfect would be able to face them and ask my. I am faith and it tells me i should forgive those who do wrong to you this i have trouble with, but you never know maybe one day i will be able to do that too. I can smile now and i am can work out in the dark on my own mine you i do have to have my phone with me. I feel i am happy now. I hope this will be able to help others out there who blame themself it's not your fault, don't listen to people who go on about the cloths you wear or the way you were acting. RAPE IS RAPE as long as you say NO then it is RAPE. |
