Rape Support Group

I'm 38 years old. The week school got out for summer break after my Sophomore year of High School, my ex-boyfriend came over, and because I don't really want to remember every detail right this moment, ended up guilting me into having sex, that I said I didn't want. When he was done, he left and bragged to everyone. I hated myself. One of my best "guy" friends stopped by and took one look at me and knew it wasn't concentual and was about to go....take care of it, but I made him promise not to, and to this day he hasn't. No one else knew until I told my bestest "girl" friend and she just listened. She already knew I wasn't going to....do anything about it. It took about a year, but I confronted him. He said he had it all pre-planned, because I was saving myself for marriage and he figured if he did that, I'd marry him.....

That was the first of many situations that happened in my life, and by far the worst on the list. I saw a picture of him on a social networking site the other day and went right into panic state.

I hate that, to this day, 22 years later, it still scares the heck out of me. That, although I can push it back, it's still hard, sometimes to be touched by my husband.

Mysticmoon, welcome to the group.Thanks for sharing that with us. It is a shame that anyonwe would treat a woman that way. A lot of times I still cannot be completely present with my hubby. If I am,I cannot allow myself to enjoy anytype of touch. I hate the fact that he has to pay for the reprecussions of other's actions. It is not right and it is not fair. If you deal with all that happened and put everything where it blongs(all the emotions)then you can be able to have a sense of normalicy.

Brenda

Hi,

I am so sorry about your trauma. It gets better when you talk about it. Please know you are not alone.

Lisa

Hello MysticMoon1989 and welcome to the group. I am really sorry about what happened to you. Please use the forum to heal, vent and make new friends. Private message me anytime.

Hiall

Sometimes I can relate to peoples stories and I definitely can to you. I was raped 19 years ago. I have carried it with me everyday. Last week I had a flash back and I even remembered his name. I even considered trying to find him on facebook. I decide to fight the urge to punish myself. Like you, I know it would have taken me right back. I am always searching for closure though. Are you doing okay now??

Welcome to the group MysticMoon. You'd be surprise how many of us had this happen in high school and we carry it as a secret for lifetime. I too was raped by my high school boyfriend and after I brok up with him he did something similar. When he called me five years later I went into a panic attack. It is so hard then not to obsess on it. Like lovespeonies, I want closure. I want to remember and understand why. I don't want it to affect my life or my relationships, but it does. I have found that talking it out with people who understand and who are not emotionally involved helps emensely. Please feel free to write all you want and if you'd pm. me.