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05/14/2009 08:34 AM

what makes a person lie about sexual assault?

nativepi
Posts: 12
New Member

this is my story about one of my family members being falsely accused of sexual assault. believe me i have given them the benefit of the doubt but when more things started coming out that they were lying just made me think why would someone do this to another person??? ok we took care of these girls cause there mom and older sister were in and out of the mental ward one summer. They asked us to take them because none of the other family could stand them.I would say that we had them for at least one summer. When they did go home there parents were fighting and they were scared so we would go pick them up and keep them at our house till things cooled down. The other reason there mom was gone all the time cause there older sister would run off and noone would know where she would be at.ok this how it went. we had a birthday party at a water park for my son and we didnt have enough money for everyone but we did not promise they were goin. when they realized, we went and didnt have enough money was the same day one girl went and told ppl.The reason they were at the cop shop is because there oldest daughter ran off on her and that was her last time getting in trouble or she was gettin sent off. so when they realized what they did they started saying that this guy did this to them. one girl made a statement to the cops a day later. then a week later the older sister made a report that didnt match with what the other sis was saying. this grew my suspicions. they claim 2 have witnesses but the mom made the statement for another girl that was not her daughter. when the girl found out she was mad n went n told the courts that this really didnt happen and that she was not goin to lie for them, and the other witness didnt even no what was goin on. the two girls one which is my relation and the other one was the girls that are accusing him, best friend. now the courts will not bring them in to tell of this lie. and one girl wrote to my niece on my space and told her they were doing this to him because they wanted to get there mom a new car. there doin this for money. but the thing is the boy who did touch them is long gone and he tried to kill himself when he was getting supeonad. his mom witnessed him and yelled at him when he was inappropriately touchin her. now his mother is lying for them even tho she stated it on the phone to her sister. this guy lived with these girls for like 3 months and the oldest girl became pregnant. she blamin anothr guy is the dad and the thing is she accused this guy a month beforethat he got her drunk and raped her. they are together now and hethinks its his baby, but the family knows otherwise. these girls are just twisted. they claimed to there mother they were stuck on this guy they are accusing. there own cousin...so now there are more storied comin up and eveyone knows the truth now. the other thing they did was go to my moms house and yelling at her cause they never pressed charges on the person who was drivin drunk and my sis passed away. these girls and there mom were drunk. they then told her they will get her bak someway and now we know what way. false accusations...the same night they went to my sis grave and broke her concrete angel and threw her flowers around. pushed over her shrine on the roadside where she perished. and two other ones. but nothin came of it. then last year they are accused of damaging 60,000. worth of damage to a grave yard in our home town. then tried to steal a camper. they not only did this once. this happend 1 month apart. they tore up graveyard b ut not much damage but a month later they finished up the job and did the 60,000 worth of damage. how would we be able to get these witnesses into the court room?? How could we get these other charges stick? the older girl she made false accusations two times before and one was cop. would we be able to supeona the cop that this happend too???would we be able to bring these other false accusations to the court room for our defense....we are in court hearing soon...but have no worries but just in case i want to know how we can our strongest defense into the court room..we are all doin fine but some worries. the family is busted up by this accusation and hope all the truth comes out..
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05/15/2009 08:21 AM
Lilibit58
Lilibit58  
Posts: 1556
Senior Member

Whew....something did happen to these girls and it probably was much longer ago than what you have here. How did they get twisted to begin with? How old is the pregnant one? What are the ages at all stories? Age matters in rape even if they are consenting when they are under 16. Could be some of it is to get attention to to just get their way. Think "The Cruciable," during the Salem witch trials. Part of the story was true and part wasn't. They do appear to be mentally unstable from what you've written. Sadly, when people lie about this they make it harder on all those who aren't lying.

05/15/2009 11:32 AM
nativepi
Posts: 12
New Member

the oldest one was 16 when she claimed this happened. now she is 18. the other one was 14 and the one their mom wrote a statement for was 14 at the time. The other cousin that didnt know what they were talking about was 16. see they claimed in the statement that the other cousin was touched and she stated that those girls were planning this after they got lectured about respecting their mom and step-father and for going back to school because they weren't in school for like 3 years. well what her mother was telling us the older one was gang raped before they moved by us. she was initiated into the gang this way..what happened where they live is coming out slowly.i dont know for sure what else happened. But um at least one person in each of this side of the family. not on the same person. has made these accusations. my cousin did.myother 5 cousins. My one cousin that does not live around her she was raped by her father. I think all the attention she got has influenced them to get some kind of attention to them that they are not getting at home. I dont know....but they need some kind of help. Dont get me wrong i did look at both sides of the story, i kind of had my doubts for awhile till this evidence started coming in. and found out why they are doing this...

Post edited by: nativepi, at: 05/15/2009 11:35 AM


05/18/2009 06:26 AM
Lilibit58
Lilibit58  
Posts: 1556
Senior Member

Generally, when girls lie like this they have been sexually abused very young and they using it as tool to get their way as they have been taught that sex is used for control. When a mind starts to twist like this it's very hard to help them, as they justify their actions. Could be nothing has happened to them, but they are a little too old for making up things to gain attention. Is there drug or alcohol involved? That just excellerates the issues. Plus, there is mental illnesses. The truth will come out as from what you've written it seems like no one agrees with each other and there is no consistency in their stories. It would be strange for a court to take the charge credibly if the story is as you've said.

While it's sad I'm not sure what we can do. The women here are not looking for revenge by posting, but healing. These girls have other issues - they lie in general.


05/18/2009 11:23 AM
nativepi
Posts: 12
New Member

yea there were drugs involved. see after they made these accusations they have ben trying to get ahold of this person on the internet. sendin him messages like whats up and how have u ben? they did not respond to them just kept them for evidence. they also ben sending messages to become there friends on different social websites. THe 14 yr old did and did not respond but they looked at her profile on this social website. we found information on there that they were selling there moms pain pills to other kids in town. they were asking for her to bring the pills to the next party..there were many of kids asking for them and i copied them down and gave them to the parents of the kids that were asking for the pills. but of course nothing came of that. But the other thing is they are claimin this person was harassing them in town by a restaurant on this one certain day. and now the cops are chargin the accused of intimidating a witness and bail jumping. see they claimed this person was harassing them on the day we buried my nephew. My nephew died of SIDS. and he was buried on this day they are claiming. they described a truck that the person drives all the time, but the thing of it is the person was at the funeral and the graveyard for final resting. see in our culturethere is a person who has to stand guard of the fire that is burning throughout the 3 days. we have grave diggers, firekeepers, paul bearers and these ppl are there doing cermonies and these girls are claiming this on the day the accused was providing these services to our family.plus when we buried him the grave diggers have to cover the grave bak up. but the thing is they stated the person was driving this certain truck that day and the truck was parked at the family members house all weekend we had cermonies. the accused had his siblings vehicle throughout the 3 days.I mean we had police escort, the funeral director, the spiritual leader, over 100 ppl as witnesses that this person was in a different place they claimed this happened.But we are hopingthe charges get dropped so we dont have another fight on our hands. My nephew who passed on, his grandfather was the police criminal investigator in our county, and he will be testifying on our behalf. my sister is the grandmother and she testified and told them there is no way this person could have ben there. but somehow they had probable cause and here we are goin up against another lie....but with this experience that is goin on with my family has got me interested in the criminal justice department. I am currently enrolled and workin on my associate degree. I want to become a private investigator or sexual assault investigator. I just hate the thought of ppl getting away with this type of act cause the law slipped up on procedures. I seen about 3 of them kind of cases in our county last year. but i want to really make sure these accusations are not false cause you could be damaging alot of ppl when they fib and could put an innocent person in jail for something they didnt do...

05/18/2009 06:57 PM
Lilibit58
Lilibit58  
Posts: 1556
Senior Member

nativepi are you going to enter this profession with the mindset that all women are lying and only if it appears "truthful" to you you'll help them? You could be damaging to a real victim and real victims will be 98% of your plantifs. Filing rape charges is hard enough without someone on the police side having personal issues that all women lie. I hope you will learn to have a more rounded view of this before you drive women in your area to not report and thereby increase the incidence of rape in you own community. I'm sorry you feel these girls are lying, and from what you've said, if he was in another place then the story appears false, that should come out in the court.

05/18/2009 08:55 PM
nativepi
Posts: 12
New Member

I do look at both sides of the issues. I do feel for the ppl that are stating these accusations. But there are some out there that just use this to get back. I just want to fully investigate. I do know that some ppl are real victims. I am fully looking into these other rape cases here. But most of the rapes that are happening into our community is gang related. This head guy of the gang was doing this to these girls. He would get them so drunk and wasted then the guys would do well you know and with this case a the guys girlfriend was the one this guy was doing this too. He phoned her mother but told her he cant do nothing about it so she went to the house and seen with her own eyes as they tried to keep her our of the room they were doing that in.There was another girl there to that this was being done to.But once we exposed this guy more girls started coming forward. But he was still let out of jail and still doin his violent ways. Nothing came of these cases because the guy passed away in an automobile accident. I feel these girls needed some kind of justice but there is nothing we can do now. But i do look at the whole story. Most of the community saying this was not a rape and nothing was really done with this person. Even tho its gang related it is still a crime and I helped her mother get information. So I do look at the whole story and figure out with all the investigations. I may sound like it because I am mad at these girls but I do have an open mind. Because there is a crown of ppl this was done too but no one wants to go after these boys. I am helping these girls, even tho the community thinks otherwise.

Post edited by: nativepi, at: 05/18/2009 08:59 PM


05/20/2009 08:04 PM
Lilibit58
Lilibit58  
Posts: 1556
Senior Member

It seems like you think most people lie. I guess you kind of scare me as doing more harm than good overall. I know that most rapes are not proceutable. They still are rape to the victim. People have their prejudices, which never helps anybody.

I'm not trying to be confrontational, but I'm curious about why you help these victims? Is the criminal connection - he was bad so he must be guilty? What if the guy doesn't seem "guilty ie bad" in your eyes? Are those going always to be assumed to be innocent and the victim a lier?

I'm glad you can separate public oppinion from fact, but can you separate your own opinion and not color fact with your own prejudices? The more rape cases you see you will find that it is hard to distinguish guilt/innocence from what the parties say. No guy is going to admit to it. I hope you can keep an open mind, but I feel that if someone triggers any similarity to your family story you'll automatically assume they are lying, which could be very damaging to a real victim.


05/20/2009 11:18 PM
nativepi
Posts: 12
New Member

Yes, I do understand how ppl are victims.and that this is very damaging to a person physically and mentally. But me i look for the credible facts. I know that most victims are abused this way and are scared to tell anyone. I am not saying all the accused are innocent. Maybe i do judge ppl rite away, maybe this is not a good career choice for me since i was abused too. I dont like to talk about it. I only told two ppl in my life. I confronted my abuser because i see him almost everyday. i asked why and he just said im sorry. i shouldnt of did that. Maybe one day i will have the courage to share my story. I think i am just stuck in between these two topics. I have told ppl but they thought i was lying it was never discussed. and I also witnessed one of my friends also who did this to her step father cause the kids didnt like him. She was determined to get bak at him. this ruined there whole families lives till at the end she finally told the truth but the mom never took him back. She didnt have any remorse how damaging this could be to his life. So here i am in the middle again thats why i look for credible evidence.

05/21/2009 08:35 AM
Lilibit58
Lilibit58  
Posts: 1556
Senior Member

Doesn't abuse itself "ruin" lives.

Think about this, are you helping others becasue you can't help yourself?

At the very least you are lucky to get an I'm sorry. Most of us get nothing. I"m sorry admits he did something wrong and it was his responsibility. Hopefully he's not doing it still.

Lots of time there is no evidence. Just one persons word against another in secluded areas.

I can be a good career choice but only after you've deal with your own abuse. Then it doesn't affect your thinking but instead you gain greater compassion for both sides.

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