Rape Support Group

I had this experience with friends and people involved. One of friends actually said to me "now you are more experienced than me". I was group raped so hearing this was horrible. Another one intentionally undressed infront of me, because I made a comment on body parts of one of the rapist... This goes on and on, also police officer made inapropriate comment that he knows how this things happen, that it was a party, we drank, he described it to me with his uneducated brains how he imagined it started, he talked like I had something to do with it. I was drug raped, I had nothing to do with how it started and I wasn't even drunk and it wasn't a party. And a typist at court, I saw him smiling, like being aroused while I was talking

A lot of people reacted this way, it just makes me sad. I think I need to set stronger boundaries.

Matt Atkinson talks about this in detail in this article he wrote: http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/rape-discussions/medicine- treatments/3576442-a-mans-guide-to-helping-a-woman-who-has- been-raped

Post edited by: hiall, at: 07/07/2012 07:48 AM

clemaire

Thank you for the link, I will read it.

I am not so sure about the typist, he could also be smiling because of my swearing, I am quite talented about that under stress, but he was way to amused for my taste. I wrote down some examples, because I can't believe how friends and police officer reacted. My friend are smart and educated, that is why it got to me so much. And all people start to talk about sex life after I tell them something. I am tired of it. I really needed to get this out.

Thank you for taking the time to share with us here. We all understand and have been through the same seasons as you've endured, and we are all wiser, stronger and more educated, as a result of it.

That you are taking action and setting boundaries is TERRIFIC! What a great affirmation of self! You deserve to be treated with respect and seeing you fight for it... WOO HOO!!!!!!!!

( i don't know an emoticon for that one!)

It's amazing, how even with the advent of the internet and the ability to have access to information globally, people refused to educate themselves about something as critical as rape. "What to say and what NOT to say." I do hope you surround yourself with friends and loved ones who UNDERSTAND. (huge hug)

I'm so glad you found MDJunction. I was feeling a bit adrift in my healing until this site was suggested to me.

What happened to you should NOT have happened, nor should it have been made light of. You should have been interviewed by a female officer, simply for your own piece of mind. So many of us are re-victimized regarding what happened to us, that our struggle to transform from victim into Survivor is hampered by ignorance and ill intent.

Simply the act of you stating you will SET BOUNDARIES conveys that a great path of healing lays before you.

You've demonstrated how well you communicate, which will stand you in good stead as you continue to learn to revalue your Self and re-evaluate who your friends are (and educate and advocate as you are inspired to do.

May the garden yield beautiful flowers for you today and perfume your dreams with hope, love and serenity.

My fountain is tickling the stones for you, today.. I hope you can feel our support!

Best wishes,

xElizabethx

Post edited by: xElizabethx, at: 07/07/2012 07:06 PM

It seems an endless fight though and it drained me of any energy in 7 months.

So instead of fighting people's opinions I should follow your example because I think you're on the right path, setting boundaries is a lot more important.

Best wishes and hugs xxx

The best part of this site? You don't have to explain goofy stuff. We all know and have been through it and I hope you feel the site's a warm blanket around you when you get that cold feeling.

Blessings on your sweet heart,

xElizabethx

The insensitivity is partially media's fault. They have eroticized surrendering power during sex so much, that Rape, is a game to most of them.

Countless times, over the years, as I've spoken regarding this subject in various platforms, mostly smaller functions. I've tried to be candid, rather than vivid. What I do focus on when I am seeking to educate people is that what occurs during a rape is NOT about sex. It is about violence and power. It's not cute, sexy, funny, or HOT.

However, if we peruse the ads and music videos long enough, we become accustomed to the horror that humans visit upon one another. Keeping the public desensitized to violent crimes has been supported by perfume ads, men holding women down with grimaces on their faces, or video games rewarding the player to rape and beat a woman FOR POINTS.

Is it any wonder that we've all had some rotten tomatoes to cope with?

The worst part to learn to cope with is that most times, the perpetrators, in my case for example, went on to live happy "fulfilling" lives. Married, kids, jobs, positions of prestige and trust.

When I saw life "rewarding" them that way, I used to become so enraged and then greatly depressed. But then I realized, this person had become accustomed to stripping a little girl of her life, and he bore no guilt. My voice asked for help as a child, yet, over and over I was ignored, ridiculed, and re-victimized by those that were supposed to help me.

I see these people living well, while I struggle to find enough slivers of the reflection of my self to make a whole person, to try to find a way to live happily at at peace.

How can a person truly appreciate ANY gift they receive, while they bear the memory of how they tortured a little girl? What sort of fog do they have in their minds that enables them to tune that out, and focus on living well?

I'm 43 yrs old now and have found a level of peace and serenity from the act of sharing, advocating and educating where I can. I do not know what punishment is in store for the ones who hurt me, but it gives me great hope for my own journey that I can finally release the rapes from their center point of my life... those events stopped being the currency I traded in, the compass I was guided by.

I finally found out that forgiveness may never come. I know that forgiveness is for ME, not the other people who did those things. And I'm robbing myself of complete peace.

The sun's rays shine across the darkened sky and rises each day. With it, rises new hope within me, that while I know I will never forget what they did to me, I refuse to surrender my life to the darkness, which encompassed my welcome to this earth.

I pledged to be a light in the darkness for those that remain lost in the vast sea of hopelessness.

My warmest regards to the participants of this group.

Today, my heart will shine for each of you

Sincerely,

xElizabethx