Rape Support Group

Hi,

My name is Ryan. I was searching the internet for some help about girls who have been raped. I came across this forum amongst others. I thought I would give it a shot. What harm can it do right?

My girlfriend was raped just before Christmas last year. She took a taxi home one night from being out and the driver attacked her. I was sat at home waiting on her, I kept thinking, well she’ll be stuck in traffic, or another ten minutess and she’ll be coming over the bridge. She called me at about 3am from where he had left her on the side of a road and I had to go get her. I drove and kept her on the phone the whole time. Eventually I found her. It was the most horrible moment of my life so far.

We are both still really hurting from all this, especially my girlfriend. She won’t eat or sleep, she is really scared of everything. We live together and I am really trying to be there for her so I guess I am just looking for some support or advice. I do love her. I want to stay by her side through this. I let her down enough.

Thanks for reading.

Ryan.

Hi Ryan.

I’m really sorry for what happened to you and your girlfriend. Rape is horrible, life changing thing. I know this oh so well.

My girlfriend was raped on New Years Eve just gone and I can honestly say it’s changed every part of me, my girlfriend and our life. (We kind of share this profile name so it might be confusing to you if you have seen other posts from her). I don’t often reply to peoples posts in the forum because there aren’t many guys around on here asking for help, i do however talk to one person from it almost twice a week or so about whats going on and its truly helped me no end.

I felt like I needed to reply to you because it seems to me like your story has its similarities to ours. I won’t go into details here to protect my girlfriends identity and story but if you would like to, your welcome to PM me and we can chat. I am happy to talk about anything, trust me I have come to learn not to worry about what I talk about as to get through this you really need to delve deep and just be an open book. Are you or your girlfriend in therapy/counselling? I know it seems like a scary thought and thing to do but I do think it’s helped us a lot.

The people you will find here and speak to are amazing and offer all kinds of support. I truly believe life for myself and my girlfriend could be miles different if it wasn’t from the people we have met and made friendships with on this forum.

Take care of you and your girlfriend.

Hope to speak soon.

Hello ryan59 and welcome to the group. I am so sorry about what happened to your girl friend. Like Olly says, you both have lots of support here. One very important thing you can tell your girl friend if you haven't already is that it wasn't her fault. It wasnt your fault either. The scum that did this, its his fault and he should be in jail. I think it is great that you want to support your girl friend. You need support too. Another good way to support your girl friend is to let her make decisions. Olly suggested therapy and that is great advice, but your girl friend should decide if and when she wants to go. Your girl friend should decide who to tell and if she wants to report it. A great way for you to educate your self on sexual abuse is to call RAINN. When you call you will be routed to an advocate in your area. This is great because they can inform you about resources in your area, like sexual assault centers. Your girl friend can call to and she can get support over the phone (if she wants). Or maybe she would want to go into one of the crises centers to talk to an advocate.

Here is a link to a guide for men who want to be supportive:

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/rape-discussions/medicine- treatments/3576442-a-mans-guide-to-helping-a-woman-who-has- been-raped

Please use the forum to heal, vent and make new friends. You or your girl friend can private message me any time you want to talk.

Hey, I'm so sorry for what has happened to your girlfriend. I can't add too much more except to say you are welcome to share your feelings here any time you'd like. Your feelings on this are important too!

Hi Ryan. I'm sorry for the late welcome as I was out of town for a few days. Anyways, welcome! I'm so sorry for what happened to your girlfriend. I'm also sorry that it is affecting you too. That's the way it usually goes. She's scared of everything, can't sleep, etc. because of it. We all go through those same feelings and phases.

I'm not sure if you've contacted olly28 but he could definitely help you out a lot. If you haven't been in touch with him, I highly recommend it.

Have you read the link Hiall posted? You will get a lot of support here and your girlfriend is welcome here too. Please feel free to PM me anytime.

clemaire