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04/25/2012 08:35 AM

Why do people want to bring everything up??

monkeymoe
monkeymoe  
Posts: 10
Member

I hate it when people who know you have been hurt want to bring it up again and again, knowing that everytime it is brought up it hurts you. I am tired of it, but I want to know why they do that. Why go back down the road that hurts me and you tell me that we are friends and you still want to bring it up. The rape alone if hard to deal with, why do I have to deal with everyone asking about it and making it harder for me. Just "Why?" Then if I don't have enough I have to deal with homework and friends drama... I feel like I have deal with everything and there is no one who cares or even sees my pain anymore. I hate telling my friends about this, because they have lives too, and I don't want to worry them with all my problems either. I am afraid to be happy, I am afraid people will say " Morgan is happy, she couldn't have been raped after all, she is happy. She has been lying about it the whole time." Well i wasn't, why can't people see that? But people who know I am having a hard time just want to make it harder for me by asking me about it. Why do they do that? WHY????
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04/25/2012 08:54 AM
clemaire
clemaire  
Posts: 884
Senior Member

Because they are ignorant. They don't have a clue how much it hurts and affects us unless it has some how touched their lives too. I felt the same way as you. I was afraid to laugh or smile in front of anyone who knew about it. For the same reasons as you. For awhile I was even uncomfortable laughing or smiling when I was alone. I felt like I didn't deserve it because of what happened. I've been raped, I shouldn't smile or sing in the shower! Are you able to tell the friends that ask you questions that for now your just uncomfortable talking about it and if you want to then you will be the one to bring it up. I had a good friend tell me that she and her whole family were worried about me because I was acting strange at their family get together. It really hurt. Like how the hell am I supposed to act a month after rape?! This is when you find out who your real friends are. If they don't respect your boundaries then they are not much of a friend. You deserve to be happy and show it no matter who is around you! I'm so sorry your having to deal with this. It's very unfortunate that this happens.

clemaire


04/25/2012 10:06 PM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

I almost get the impression that they don't believe you anyway, and so they are trying to trip you up...I hope not...I hope it's just that they can't conceive of what you are going through...I'm so sorry. Have you told them you don't want to discuss it with them anymore?

04/25/2012 10:16 PM
tot35
tot35  
Posts: 130
Member

I kinda think that too Izzy, or they pitty you and want to see you cry. I thik its ok that we talk about it when other people that has been through it and understand how/how you are feeling.

I had this older lady ask me how did you feel when he was inside you? I asked her are you serious? Did you just ask me that? She said yea if I didnt want to know I wouldnt had asked you. I got up and walked away crying cuz I didnt want to disrespect my elders. It made me feel like I was raped all over again.

So monkeymoe I say they are stupid, and I am so sorry people do you that way.


04/25/2012 10:22 PM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

Tot that is awful. I wonder, what your family member did, I wonder if that has something to do with people blurring sex and rape, you know? I don't know how many times on television or in books I've seen rape but the woman always begins to "like it" or some other such utter nonsense. And I think sometimes, people take that to be truth. That it's just like sex, and the victim doesn't realize she wants it at first. Even typing that out just now makes me sick to my stomach...I'm so sorry.

Edited to add: Tot, your babies are so beautiful!

Post edited by: Izzy87, at: 04/25/2012 10:23 PM


04/26/2012 06:51 AM
clemaire
clemaire  
Posts: 884
Senior Member

Izzy, you got it right on the mark. I believe that is why there is so much victim blaming!
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