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02/21/2012 01:57 AM

Questions?????

Cindy86
Posts: 8
New Member

Why???? and how many lives have you messed up?????
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02/21/2012 02:23 AM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

Welcome to the group Smile

I assume these are questions aimed at the rapist...?


02/21/2012 02:54 AM
Cindy86
Posts: 8
New Member

Thanks. they are. it was 10yrs ago if i could just ask one question it would be how many. I know it sounds crazy and maybe i dont wasnt to know. i had told police then it might not of happend to some other poor girl.

02/21/2012 03:00 AM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

I don't know how many, but I know rapists are not one-time offenders. I DO know the answer to your first question though!

Why does a rapist rape? Because he does not believe that you are a human being. He does not believe that you own your body and your sexual choices. He believes you are an object that does not have the right or capability to object to how he might see selfish use for your body.

How did reporting go? I know for many, it is less than what we expect and hope for.


02/21/2012 02:58 PM
Cindy86
Posts: 8
New Member

I didnt end up by pressing charges. I had no family support and so drugs and booze was easyer. Im now married with two small boys and im clean and now time to deal with it. I still find it very hard to trust people.

What is your story?


02/21/2012 07:31 PM
hiall
hiall  
Posts: 1870
VIP Member

Welcome to the group Cindy86. I am sorry about what happened to you.

02/22/2012 02:15 PM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

I have called and asked questions about reporting, but didn't go through with it. I was raped twice around seven years ago by my then boyfriend. I didn't know it was rape because I thought that rape meant the victim had to scream for help and physically fight off her attacker and I thought that if you had already had sex with the person than they couldn't rape you. He broke up with me soon after that and then I found I was pregnant. I kept my daughter, and I didn't know until she was two years old that what happened to me was rape. He is unfortunately still in my life because he uses his paternal rights with my daughter to stay involved at his convenience. Last spring I found MDJ and started learning more about emotional abuse and rape and through talking to other people from high school, I've learned that he's abused several others.

Self-medicating for trauma is not unusual, and many of our members didn't have much support either. I'm very sorry for that. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself Smile

Post edited by: Izzy87, at: 02/22/2012 02:22 PM


02/22/2012 04:59 PM
Cindy86
Posts: 8
New Member

Thats must be so hard still seeing him. I cant imagn.

When it happen to me, it was at a party and there wher elots of people, but I didnt screem or fight. It was like i wasnt there. I am still mad at myself for not doing anything, because if i had it might not of happend. easyer to look back. I do find it alot easyer talking about it to people who have also been though it.


02/22/2012 06:19 PM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

Please forgive yourself for not fighting. In all reality, he probably would have just stepped up his "enforcement".

02/23/2012 12:08 AM
Cindy86
Posts: 8
New Member

Yes, thats true. i always thought about how i would deal with it and you have an idea in your head, but it will never happen to you. but when it does happen you deal with it so differnt. i had an idea in my head that i would fight screem and then go right to police. but thn it happen. felt dirty and that i had done some thing wrong. will never ever forget what he said before walking out "now that wasnt that bad, was it". that now makes me mad.

You must be such a strong person still dealing with him as the father of you daughter.

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