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02/20/2012 04:50 PM

My Story! *graphic*

rainbow66
Posts: 7
New Member

This is the fist time I've told my story in full since I told the police! I feel now is the right time!

It was May 2001 I was 11 years old! I had a norml family, and was a tipical cheeky 11 year old, I loved to dance and loved animals etc.

And then in one night all of that was taken away!

We had a big family party at my 2nd cousins farm for her 40th, Most of the family was there, must off been about 50 or 60 of us, It was decided that most of the kids would camp in tents in the garden! As there wasn't enough room in the house, we would be supervised by my cousin and his mates, it was the middle may and very hot, so it was good camping weather. The tents were set up in the bottom of one of the feilds, some way from the house but still in sight from the house, an it was a totally enclosed farm etc

Anyway, we enjoyed the party, lots of food and games etc! My older cousin who was 16, bought along afew of his mates, and ofcourse I thought it was 'cool' to hang around with older boys,

We played a drinking game, where you had to name things related to an item, if you couldn't think of one, you had to have a drink, which at the time I thought was strictly soft drinks! but tuns out this one boy 'K' was adding alcohol to my drinks, and they were choosing items that I would have no idea about, like car parts or game boy things etc, so by the time the game was over tho I didn't know it, I'd had alot of alcohol! I felt so ill, and it was about 10pm by then, So I decided to go to bed.

I was ment to be sharing a tent with my cousin chelsea, but she had rang earlier that day to say she was ill so wouldnt be coming, so I had the tent to myself! I don't know how long I was asleep for, when I woke up aware of someone next to me, I was still pretty out of it from the alcohol, things are still pretty hazey even now! I remember my sleeping bag being unzipped, then I felt hands all over me, grabbing at me, I went to scream, but he covered my month, and then gagged me with some of my clothes, He put his face right up to mine, thats when I relized it was my cousins friend 'K' I tried to fight him, but I was a tiny 11 year old and he was 16! I stood no chance, He hit me in the face, i guess I must of blacked out, next thing I remember was this dead weight on top of me, I couldn't breathe, he was so heavy! His hands everywhere, my head was spinning, I was in so much pain, He was telling me, I had been after him all evening, and that I wanted this to happen etc, it lasted for what seemed like hours, I don't remember much more of the attack! I don't remember him getting off me, or what else he did, I don't remember him leaving the tent,

I woke up to light streaming through the tent door! I was covered in blood and bruses! I got dressed, and struggled to me feet, every inch of me hurt, I just wanted to get back to the house, to wash and get clean! I had to face the long walk across the feild to the house! I got over half way, when I heard someone shout my name it was my Auntie, she had spotted me staggering about from an upstairs bedroom, I didnt want to see anyone, I remember turning around and trying my run, but collapsed, I don't remember much more untill I woke up in hospital! I think I have some memory of sirens and lots of people talking, but its not very clear.

I had 4 broken ribs, a broken wrist, a collapsd lung, fractured jaw and cheek bone, head to toe in cuts and bruises!

The medical exam was horific! I couldnt have one straight away as they had to see to my injuries first! So I couldn't wash or anything for about 4 days after! Being poked and proded wasn't plesent

the next few months were a wirlwind! police interveiws, councelling, and then finding out I was pregnant with twins!

I was offered the 'morning after pill' in the medical exam but refused it! Alot of people couldnt believe I made that disission at 11 years old, but I had/have very strong beliefs, no one has to right to kill a baby, no mater how it was concived!

8 months later, a month early, aged 12, I gave birth to boy/girl twins 'B' and 'R'

In the space of just under a year, I'd gone from a normally happy 11 year old, to a terrified child having to raise twins!

the twins have just turned 9 now, and the are my life! they both have autism and my daughter is partically deaf, but i wouldn't change them for anything! If it wasn't for them, I'd properly be dead by now, they kept me strong, I had to stay strong for them!!

and as for him! After a long and stessful court case! it turns out he has raped a 15 year old only 3 months before me! He was sentaced to 9 years and 4 months! as he had a list of offences longer than his arm! inculding drungs and knife crimes aswell as 2 rapes of under 16s GBH/ABH and more

Sorry this is soo long, but writting it down I hope will help! I'd like to think that after 9 years I was 'over it' but you don't ever totally get over it, you move on yes! but its always there!

Post edited by: rainbow66, at: 02/20/2012 04:56 PM

Post edited by: rainbow66, at: 02/20/2012 04:58 PM

Post edited by: rainbow66, at: 02/20/2012 05:09 PM

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02/20/2012 05:30 PM
clemaire
clemaire  
Posts: 883
Senior Member

Hello Rainbow66. Welcome to the group. I am so very sorry for what you have endured. My goodness, how brave and strong you are. I don't think it can ever go away but you can heal from it. And I know over life sometimes we get stuck again especially when triggered or when any other trauma may enter your life. Congratulations on getting him behind bars! That is one of the bravest things you can do! I'm so sorry your in a down moment as well. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Feel free to PM me anytime.

clemaire


02/20/2012 07:15 PM
hiall
hiall  
Posts: 1868
VIP Member

Hello rainbow66 and welcome to the group. I am sorry about what happened to you. How are you doing now? Are you still in counselling? You have lots of support here.

Please private message me anytime you want to talk.

Hiall


02/20/2012 07:34 PM
rainbow66
Posts: 7
New Member

I'm doing okay! Sleep is abit of a nightmare, I have insomnia and ME, so atm getting about 2 hours a night, its 3:15am here!

I was very nervous in putting my story up, as I haven't really spoke/written about it for a few years! I'm not in active councelling but the counceller I've had since day 1 can be on the end of the phone if I need her.

this year is going to be tough! My attacker comes out of prison this summer! even tho he dosen't know where we live etc, it still terifies me, at the thoughts of what he might/could do to me or the twins!

The twins keep asking 'whos my dad' more and more at the moment, there at an age where you cannot fob them off with any story, yet there still babies, and are to young to know details.

My daughters hearing is getting worse! shes having tests done with her school nurse, which may mean she has hearing aids fitted!

I'd love my own flat or house,my own rules, my own space, instead of living with my parents and siblings, but im to scared to live on my own, I wouldnt feel safe, let alone with the twins around, not that I could afford it anyway!

everything seems to come at once!


02/20/2012 07:43 PM
clemaire
clemaire  
Posts: 883
Senior Member

I am sorry about your daughter. I'm really scared about when my offender gets out and its not for 4 more years so I can only imagine how you must feel right now. Maybe that could be a part of how your feeling lately? I lived with my parents too for the same reason as you. Your not alone.

02/20/2012 08:05 PM
rainbow66
Posts: 7
New Member

For the last few years it's just been, ohh its ages until he is out' but now it's not ages it's soon!! 4 years may seem along time, but it will go fast! I wish I was more prepared!but how do you prepare for something like this :/

Its the twins I fear for the most! He's already hurt me as much as he can, He knew I was pregnant, his mum 'who still believes he is inocent' saw me outside of court when I was about 4 months gone, and obviously told him! Later that day she told me, he said if I had the baby (she didnt know it was twins) he would make sure my life is ruined! And that if it was proven it was his 'child' he would make sure he got custody!!!

I try and put on a brave face, I have to, for the twins sake, they don't know any different, their just two inocent children caught up in this mess!

Post edited by: rainbow66, at: 02/20/2012 08:06 PM


02/21/2012 12:15 AM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

I am so sorry you have been through this! I don't know about where you live, but in my state in the US if a child is conceived through a criminal act, the criminal has zero rights regarding the child. You should speak to a lawyer and see what you can find out, you and the kids are probably entitled to legal protection from him.

02/21/2012 05:17 AM
rainbow66
Posts: 7
New Member

yh, there is a court order against him, that he is not allowed to make contact with me or my family, and he is not allowed to see it, but this is just a piece of paper telling him not to, it can't physically stop him :/ x

02/21/2012 05:24 AM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

It can't physically stop him, but the police can. When it is close to the time he gets out, alert your kids' school and childcare providers. And don't hesitate to call 911 yourself if anything is amiss. He won't get custody, so go ahead and let yourself breathe on that one.

02/21/2012 06:56 AM
rainbow66
Posts: 7
New Member

yh, I will be on a system called 'black flagged' which means if someone rings 999, and gives our address, any local police units have to drop everything and get here as fast as they can! which is some comfort, but still dosen't take away the fear unfortunetly, the chances of him finding us are unlikely, as he has no idea where we are etc, but now a days, peoplecan find out so much, about a person, its quite scarey x
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