Rape Support Group

She was raped when she was 3...she is 13 now and does not remember the incident. Thank God for that. The guy that raped her only did one year in jail. I had planned on killing him but my wife and thepolice stopped me. I think about this every time I see her and hope that she does not develop any issues because of it. I seem to be the one with the problem...I want this guy dead. My daughter is now over protective and won't let her hang out with boys at all. This event has scarred the entire family.

Bangbang; I completely understand how you feel. Everyday I want to see these rapist suffer and die but I know that isn't the correct way to deal with this. As stated; it's far better for your family to have you with them than in jail. Your grandaughter may not ever remember what happened and there is no law that says she needs to show signs of trauma. Those things are common, it may come up later. Be ready to support her if it does. There was an article not too long ago talking about the healing ability of the very young and older women who were raped being better than the ability of the women in their child bearing years. So she does have that on her side. It's important that the adults in her life (her over protective mother) don't impose their fears into her life. Teaching her to fear boys and being with boys will only handicap her socially and leave her ill equipped in her life to deal with men on all levels. Therapy for everyone sounds like the way to go. Best wishes. Tell your daughter to come here and get some support too. BTW, do you still know and see the rapist?

You won't believe this...The firs AA meeting I went to he was the Greeter. I almost cut him then...I had my knife on me..I always carry one for protection. Comes from living in Detroit. LOL However I wanted to get better and I forced my self to a table and got through the meeting ok. I told him not to even speak to me and if I caught him outside I would beat the crap out of him...He no longer goes to my meetings.

I am so, so sorry to hear about your granddaughter! What a horrific thing to happen...I think bcme offers some great advice. Your anger is valid and should be dealt with in a healthy way, and your granddaughter will need a safe, open place to discuss her feelings on it when that time comes.

I think bcme is right about your daughter being overprotective, too. I imagine she blames herself as the mother for not protecting her adequately, but the fact is rape and molestation occur because of the mindset of the RAPIST and for no other reason. It is already very easy for females to see men as a sexual threat, but it is not the fact that they are male that causes rape and abuse.

Take care of yourself first, and then you can be in a better place to offer support to your daughter and granddaughter.

welcome to the group Bangbang. I am sorry about what happened to your granddaughter. I think about doing the same thing to the person that hurt my daughter. We decided to not report and help my daughter heal for now. I will be right by her side when she does want to report it.

Please PM me anytime you want to talk.

Hiall

Post edited by: hiall, at: 09/04/2011 11:39 PM