Rape Support Group

I've noticed that is seems some victims feel more validated then others? Did you know that a rape caused by a stranger is 70% more likely to get reported? I've never known anyone who got attacked by a stranger that they didn't report it. But I have known an ample amount who were drugged, taken advantage of, aquitenced raped, date raped or attacked by a family who never said 2 words. Why does it seem like in most cases that we feel like we deserved it if we knew the person?

Not for sure that it is a case of we feel like we deserve it, but matybe more so that we are more ashamed that we allowed ourself to get close enough to the person for them to be able to do such things. The guilt comes not just from what happened, but because it was someone that we knew, someone that we trusted, that we thought was a friend. That causes a lot of self doubt. Especially if there have been prior instances that have taught the person that they deserve to be treated tat way. Many of those that are raped have a lower self image to begin with and they do not want to be seen differently. There is a fear that others will look down upon them, or will think negatively of them. Plus thre is the facttht if you know the person, then it is sometiems harder to prove that he indeed did rape you. And who wants to have to fight accusation that they were willing to be invlolved in something that they were not.

Brenda

I think hiddenbutterfly got it pretty well...for me, my guilt came from a) not knowing what rape really was and b) I was in a relationship with my rapist, an emotionally abusive relationship, and the entire set-up of an abusive relationship is to install a program into the victim's head that tells the victim everything that goes wrong is THEIR fault. I had the added pressure of then becoming pregnant, and MANY messages from people/societal sources telling me that by me becoming pregnant and trying to protect my child from said rapist, that I was being vindictive, controlling, and unfair.

I agree with both ladies above. I guess someone may feel(on some level) that they did something to provoke their rapist, like giving them the false impression that they were interested in them. I know this may be only is a very few cases but I am sure that in the case of rape a person may beleive that they somehow deserved it or feel the guilt of putting themselves in the situation where this could happen. I know that in the alot of cases these rapes happen when there are no true signs that the rapist could be capable of such an act.

I know that when I was tricked and manipulated during my relationship, I thought that I would get into trouble as well, which was what I was told. I also felt like nobody would believe me, seeing as he was my boyfriend and I had been with him for nearly a year.

I reported, with hesitance, but after I did I felt a lot better.

I also believe that some people who get raped by those who they know, feel like they have a connection either to them or people close to them which makes it harder for them.

However, it is more common to get raped by somebody you know, which means most rapes go unreported. Which is sad. I really hope that changes over time.

Its really funny how the mind works. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Victims I think are plagued with what ifs or I should have done this or thats. I think also that in instances where we don't know the perpetrator there is usually no doubt or excuse. When it is someone we know, there are a lot of ties and ties to people or close friends come into to play.

I trusted the person who raped me and after was afraid to be around anyone who knew him and really felt like it was all my fault. Being victimized effects people in so many different ways and for those on the outside looking in you may try to relate but its just one of those things thats really hard to empathize with. I also hope that people change their ways of thinking and not right off the bat assume that the victim is at fault!!

I believe it's the idea of what is meant to be the right family morals - that family is together and that nothing bad will happen within the family as family members are meant to be there to support other family members. I guess that's where the issue is.. I have friends who have been sexually harassed by their brothers, no sex, but still they face issues with it. It's so sad when it happens because the whole idea of family morality falls apart.. it isn't right and completely unethical..