MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
10/31/2010 07:07 PM

Am I paranoid?

MetalChick
 
Posts: 84
Member

Ok, well basically when I get more comfortable I will get into details of my past and that hell (rape court date, that stuff). Well, recently me and my fiancee have befriended another couple. It took us over a year to trust people enough again to hangout and that stuff especially to have a guy around me again.

Well, recently we began hanging out w/ the couple a lot. The guy has been getting a lil "friendly". We were hanging out in their bedroom and I got up on the bed w/ his wife. Well, my fiancee was still sitting in the chair watching the movie. Well, the guy got up and wedged himself between me and his wife and put his arm around us. My fiancee is basically a very lenient guy who trusts that it was nothing more than a friendly thing. It made him a lil mad but he thought the guy didn't mean anything by it.

So, we leave that night and we make plans w/ them to go out and catch a movie in a couple days. Well, me and my fiancee had some relationship issues lately and it was obvious (btw that guy is my boss and both me and my fiancee work under him). So, Friday my fiancee was talking to me at work and a fight escalated (lack of reception didn't help). So, literally as soon as he hung up, I receive a phone call from the boss. I thought "hey well maybe he's just calling to translate the message since his phone messed up". No, he called to make sure that I was going and some other stuff that was creeping me out. Then I receive texts from him while his wife isn't around. 1 being that he loves me and couldn't wait until my bf was gone so we could have some time together. CREEEPY!

So, fiancee called me on his ride home from work, he didn't even get through the traffic light before my boss called me. I picked it up thinking it was about the plans that night, no, it was a lil bit more intimate than that. He was insulting my fiancee saying "the monster is on his way home". Stuff like that. I was like "wtf?".

So, we all go out to the movie. We begin to leave and he grabs onto my hand. No big deal, right? Well, I try to grab away and he squeezes tighter. My fiancee didn't want to start a fight so he didnt' say anything since we were fighting all that day. Then my boss walks me to the drivers side door and opens the door for me saying "this is how a man is supposed to be to a woman". My fiancee didn't hear it and I'm pretty sure if he did, I would of been bailing him out of jail that night. So, on the ride home my fiancee talked to me about everything and came to the conclusion that he is preying on me. (FYI, I'm only 5 feet tall).

We get home and we knew he was on the sex offenders list so we decide to google him. Well, we found 2 charges on separate occasions and lets just say his story was nowhere near the story that showed up online. Now my fiancee is leaving next weekend to be out of town until Monday and this guy knows about it. I really don't know what to do at this point. Am I being paranoid? Any suggestions?

Reply

10/31/2010 08:03 PM
HiddenButterfly
HiddenButterfly  
Posts: 4911
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

You are in no way being paranoid. I think you should make plans to be away from the house for the weekend. Ask some out of town friends or family if you could stay with them or soemthing. For nothing else, check into a hotel.

If necessary, call a car rental place and have them pick you up and take oyu to the company where you then leave for the hotel, out of town. Maybe even go as far as to get a cheap pay as you go cell for the weekend so that only those you want to can reach you. You desrteve to not have to worry about your safety ever.

Brenda


10/31/2010 09:53 PM
hiall
hiall  
Posts: 1868
VIP Member

No your not paranoid at all, This guy is a creep, i would somehow report him to upper management or maybe find another job.

11/01/2010 05:28 AM
SomewhereInCalifornia
SomewhereInCalifornia  
Posts: 397
Member
I'm an Advocate

Get the hell out of there honey... The way he grabbed your hand and wouldn't let go...........you don't want to be the 4th (known) victim. And get a little cannister of pepper spray and have it in your pocket at all times....under your pillow at night, if you're alone...and make sure you're not downwind...I used carry one for night travel....it was a hell of a lot better than a fist of keys...and not as complicated as I'm making it sound......it's basically like a mini hairspray cannister. But you need to find another place to live, too.........he obviously doesn't give a shit if he is caught again. It sounds like you've been thru enough bad things from what you're saying. Guys like that make themselves deliberately likable.....and put themselves forward to "welcome" new "friends" into their lives. There really are great people out there......this world would be a far worse place than we could imagine if everyone were bad news. But you both have had your radars slightly knocked of because you're still going thru shock. But I love that you immediately Googled this man's real history. That's not paranoid or just suspicious.......that's smart.

Be well,

Cali


11/01/2010 07:45 AM
lovespeonies
lovespeonies  
Posts: 4162
VIP Member

I agree that you were being very smart googling him. I am so glad that you did!! A person like that should have no place in your life. I also agree that you shouldn't be alone, it is very important that you find a safe place while your fiancee is gone. From the outside this looks like a bad situation that needs to end safely. I imagine you two are going to either have to report your boss or find other jobs. This situation is toxic and you need to get out of it ASAP. You are not being paranoid!!!

11/01/2010 08:52 AM
MetalChick
 
Posts: 84
Member

Well, my fiancee last night said, "Don't you think we may of blew this out of proportion? Maybe he is a nice guy and we reacted wrong to it." I told him that if he was, would he of really sent those texts and called only when he wasn't around? Or how about the factor that the 17 year old girl was telling me about the stuff he was saying to her? I'm just so confused. 1/2 of me wants to trust the "friend" I met but the other 1/2 is screaming RUN AWAY!

11/03/2010 04:46 PM
Lisal22
Lisal22Posts: 476
Member

Hi,

Sounds scary. The guy has no boundaries. Can you report him to Human Resources? Be careful. Glad you are here. We're here for you.

Lisa

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved