Rape Support Group

Hello everyone, I am new to this board and I am looking for advice. In 2000 I got married to a military guy am divorced now tho (thank god) But I just found out he went up in rank. He was in Iraq in 2004 and decided when I didn't want to have sex with him he would rape me. Well I was Diagnosed with Bi-polar, PTSD and GAD. Well when we was gone the second time to Iraq I found out when he was coming home and started drinking instead of taking my meds. Because of it his parents have my 2 younger kids. Because I was so drugged up and couldn't remember the date it happened the military decided they didn't want to do anything about it. Even when I had proof, But the way his Dr. put it in the paper work was he was sexually aggressive to me.But he had admitted it to one of his friends and still the military did nothing and I just found out he is a first class (He is Navy).Is that really how they should be? I just don't find that fair

Welcome secretlady,

So sorry this happend. It's so hard to prove rape. It seems "we" as victims get the short end of the stick just about everytime. I even went to the ER and Had evidence and the police decided not to go and look for my attacker. This isn't uncommon. I know it must hurt but you should try and get therapy (if ur ready). I understand the law is that you have to prosecute within two years of the incident. The military might be different.

I'm here if you want to talk.

Take care of urself!

Welcome Secret,

I totally agree with Ange on her comments. The laws are different in every state and sadly military or not it seems the attacker has more rights than any victim.

hi secretlady welcome to the group and sorry this happened to you. Ya your right, it isnt fair. Short end of the stick. I would talk to a lawyer and see what your chances are of nailing this guy. Maybe a lawyer that deals with rape. Do what ever you think is going to make you feel better, that's what counts.

Id love to see the look on his face when he gets a sapena to court.

Thank you all for replying,,,,I did the counciling when I was married to him and during the divorce. Thats when I was so drugged up they had me on 5 different pills. Topamax, serquil, ambian, kalonopin, effexor and that would be why I couldn't remember dates. I couldn't remember my name back then.

I do have a boyfriend now of 3 years and all my issues he accepts

sounds like you have a great boy friend!

Rape is hard to prove to begin with, but within a marriage it's even harder. The military has their own rules and I think they don't want to have cases of rape as it gets in public statistics. I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad you've moved on and have a positive relationship. So many women just go back to the same type of guy. Welcome to the group

Lori