Rape Support Group

I had a dream last night that the man who raped me and i were having (for a lack of words) gun war! i had 2 other people fighting with me and he had one person fighting on his side. all i remember is that we were running around trying to shot each other! i remember getting shot in the back and my friend pulling the bullet out. and i had a hand gun and it only could hold 2 bullets. so, i asked my friend for a better gun. and instead of firing only 2 the gun she gave me could hold 12. another specific thing i remember is i had shot my 12 bullets (and had no more to fire) and his bullets had run out. then all of a sudden he said, "time for round 2." and then he kept shooting. i was hiding behind a book case and my friends were stilling shooting...idk, how the dream ended..i just thought it was extremly weird!! anyone have any ideas?

Maybe you are looking for ways to have protected yourself. Dreams are weird things, it is usually somehting that happened during the day or something that is on our mind. Have you been thinking about how you could have or should have protected yourself? Sometimes we dream up ways for it not to have happened.

You rely on your friends and trust them to help you. Despite the fact that what he did the first time (the first shots) didn't kill you there was a second round (PTSD). It seems as if what he did to you has unending consequences. You were hiding behind a bookshelf which means you are scared to face him and the feelings and pain of his actions. You fought back. You are working towards recovery. One thing the ladies at the Rape Crisis Center told me to do was to reinvent, in my mind, what happened. Namely daydream that you knock him down and and prevent him from raping you. I also tell the rapist off in my daydreams. It helps get a little power back.

Lisa

Also, I have dreams like that too. In my dreams I'm trying to get away from or stab my attacker and he just keeps coming. The good news is that I always survive his attacks. Dreams are weird. I guess we all have those. I never attributed it to my rape before. I love this group, maybe I really will heal someday.

Thanks,

Lisa

My interpretation

Its about him coming up to you and your friends and talking to u that one time. This has been on your mind and is now moving into your dreams. You dont like that he did this so you are fighting him in your dreams. You didnt tell him off and to leave when he walked up to you guys... this is why you had round 2 in your dreams.. you didnt report him, you didn't tell him to take a hike. this is on your mind.

So... Now you have probably talked to your dad about how you guys are going to deal with him the next time he confronts you, if he does... So think about what you discussed, a lot.... this should be part of your next dream.... maybe use this next dream to do what you want to do to him... if you have this dream again...

lisal, i really think that you are right! i depend alot on my family and friends to help me alot of the time because i just can't handle it on my own sometimes. when you said, "unending consequences" That's couldn't be more true!! it's affected me more then anything in my entire life! and i think i'm scaried of the unknown more then anything else. stuff from this situation pop up randomly everywhere! whether it's people judging me, trouble with trust and relationships, flashbacks, etc. that is soo true! i have days where i don't have one flashback, etc. which i'm grateful for! although, i have days where i just wanna hurt him! i want him to feel the way i did! he's never admitted to raping me (and probably never will) and that's something i have to learn to except. but, he will meet god! i find strength in that! reinventing is a great idea! just to come up with things in my mind to combat what he's done!

hiall, now that you say that it makes sense. because i'm fighting to keep him away from me and i don't want him to hurt me because i know he's angry at me! and sometimes i feel like i run out of resources but, not the will to fight (like when i ran out of bullets and asked for a better gun) and i just wanna hide. when he said "round 2" in my dream that could be many things..he tends to think that it's totally fine to come up to me (i think it gives him a sense of power over me) and maybe that's round 2. idk. That was the scariest part of the dream! i remember feeling the most fear during that part. and then that's when i croched down behind the book case (because i ran out of bullets and i had no ablility to fight without really getting hurt!) and my friends kept shooting. but, i remember the bookshelf was empty and there were holes in the shelf but, he never hit me..he hit me in the back earlier in the dream! i hope i never have to go through that dream again! but, if i do then hopefully i can have more tactics to fight him off.

ok so think about whats going to happen if he comes up to u again. this should change your dream.... if you dont want the dream, which will be hard, dont think about him.