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05/27/2010 06:16 AM

raped more than once. did you react the same way

deject

ive not been unfortunate enough to be raped more than once and i would like to keep it that way but just a general question for those that have had the misfortune of being raped more than once on seperate occasions. did you react as you did the first time it happened or had you found the courage to react differently because youve been through it before?

i don even =know if that makes sense.

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05/27/2010 05:36 PM
Katy89
Katy89  
Posts: 87
Member

Well last july I wasn't raped but I was sexually assaulted by a friend. n extremly close friend. He thought I was asleep and I wasn't. Well I was comepletly detached to what happened. I didn't react at all in any way. The guy was such a close friend, I confronted him, he said he was sry, and I just went on like nothing happened. I stayed friends with him for a while. I think I couldn't handle that I hd been betrayed that way so my mind never really was able to come to the realization of what happened. WHen I was raped 2 months ago It was very hard. I went through all of the emotions and hardships that is typical of a victim. This has been the hardest thing I ever been through. I hate this burden. So yes this time is nothing like what I went through the first time something bad happened to me.

05/28/2010 02:17 PM
deject

oh isee. either way it is a terrible thing to go through and people in around me dont seem to understand . oh well. are you seeing a phsychologist or something to help you with whats going on? and have you reported it to the police?

05/28/2010 03:29 PM
Katy89
Katy89  
Posts: 87
Member

The rape that happened two months ago, yes I did call the police. I'm pursuing the case. It was hard, but I did it. He confessed to it. It has been a suprisingly easy process. I'm not seeing a psychologist or anything. I have a counselor that I talk to but my mom has been a big help. I'm getting better. I was on anti depressents for a while but I'm off the meds for right now. You're right, either way it's aweful. This is the worst thing anybody can do. Well I can say I understand lol

05/28/2010 09:24 PM
stillalone
stillalone  
Posts: 23
Member

I had been in the "situation" if you like of having lost all control twice by the same man. I did not react the same both times as I was young and it was a year apart. The first time I had fear of the total time but still tried to find strength. The second time,I was in a different frame of mind, I tried to sing and was not going to fight it until he choked me and stopped me from singing, then I just sort of came to the realization that God was closing his eyes and I was alone.

Basically I would have to say that I reacted differently both times.


05/29/2010 06:46 AM
Lisal22
Lisal22Posts: 476
Member

After I was molested I was raped. I felt like I had lost control. I felt like damaged goods and did not care what happened. I finally woke up after being in shock for many years and put my life back together. I guess everyone is different yet I notice that many of us feel less than. I do not feel that way anymore.

Lisa


05/30/2010 03:26 PM
deject

hey thanks for your responses. and lisal22 youre right we do feel less than. i think what gets me the most is the fact that i was unable to say no to vaginal sex. had i found the courage to say it he probably would have stopped because i refused to have anal sex and he didnt. but i refused to have oral but he made me do it and the one thing i keep thinking about is why didnt i think to just bite him. that would have stopped him. in my head that sounds funny but i also kick myself for not having thought of it at the time. a true homer simpson moment. doh!

i guess we have got to find a way to pick ourselves up and carry on with our lives. the hard part is how do you do that?


05/30/2010 03:34 PM
Katy89
Katy89  
Posts: 87
Member

Why didnt u think to bite him? Well when the guy was doing oral to me, I begged him to stopped. I pleaded, but why didn't I try to get up instead of lying there? I keep pepper spray in my purse and I didnt think to get it. U r not abnormal!

05/30/2010 10:28 PM
stillalone
stillalone  
Posts: 23
Member

but then you have to also understand that what you did do at the time may have been the best. Do not second guess yourself, hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20. I bit when I was forced to perform oral so many years ago and he retaliated by breaking my jaw...thinking back I would not have done it!

05/31/2010 05:34 AM
Lisal22
Lisal22Posts: 476
Member

We always find ways to blame ourselves, question ourselves. You were in shock. I guess kind of a slave mentality. Don't worry about what you did. He is the wrong one.

Lisa

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