Rape Support Group

Well apparently he continiued to sread his seed after me with several different woman. I found this oiut not longago. Unfortunately when the person decided to blurt it out my daughter was right there. She got excited at the prospect of having siblings. She knows wha the did to me, but wants to find these other kids. Well I though I was going to have a heart attack. I do not want to chance him coming back in our lives. I asked her whyshe wanted to find them. She said that they were related to her and that if these kids were having a hard time she wants to help them.

I feel so awful because I told her I wanted no part of uit. That if she was insistanton doing this she had to wait until she was 18, pay whatever it would cost to find them and that they would not be welcome in my home.I feel so mean because my daughter and I are very close. She calls me her best friend and she is mine as well as my daughter. I have always supported her and tried to nurture her having her own ideas and opinions even when they are different then mine. I just can't do this.... What do Ido.

Now I havebeen thinking alotabout this and don't recall if Ialreadydid a post on this. I don't think so but if I did please forgive me.

Hugs and peace,

Jenn

You have a right not to want hoim anywhere near you. If they are his children,then they would be younger than your daughter and that would mean that tehre would be a chance that he would be transporting them. I would not want to take the chance of having him near me or my child.Out of protection for her,it was a good idea. I think you need to sit down with her and explain why you feel the way you do and let her know that you respect her decision to be her own person and to make her own choices,but this is one thing that you just are not capable of supporting. You will be there for her to talk to and sahre her news with,right? Maybe that could be your way of supporting her.

Brenda

I will be there to listen and talk. I explained why I was so scared.She already knew about the rape. She had been asking me for years what he did to me. All I told herwhen she was growing up was that he had hurt me real bad and that it wasnot safe to be around him. Finally when she turned 13 , at her therapy session is when I told her. I reassured her that it was not her fault. That she was theone good thing that ever came from him and I would go through it all again so I would have her.

She said that she has no intention of seeing him, but I just have a very bad feeling about this.He used to say when she was a baby that he was going to take her to live in the woods and I'd never find her. What if he kidnaps her or hurts her.I just don't think I can handle the thought of her being in a situatiom thatcould lead to that.

Thanks for listening and your advice.

Jenn

I understand that and would express your concern about htat as well.Let her know you are just worried about her safety because of what he has threatened in the past and you do not want her to be hurt. That protecting her is your ultimate goal. There is a good chance that he would try to make contact with her even if she did not want it.SHe probably does not even know what he looks like.

Brenda

Sometimes children forget things. It sounds like she's excited about having siblings. Maybe at the next therapy session you should talk about it and remind her why its a bad idea

If he's threatened to kidnap her then I agree with you. No way should he be anywhere near her

Thanks for the advise and support ladies. I think I will go in the next therapy session and talk about this with her. God forgive me for saying this, but Thank God she was not a boy. If she had been he NEVER would have left me alone. "males" are a big thing in his family. They are all screwed up. There are times, especially lately that she does this one thing that he used too. It's not bad and really not a big thing. But it reminds me of him with her beautiful face. And I just want to yell stop it. Don't ever do that again. There are even times I feel like I want to vomit. I feel soooo guilty, ashamed.

We all have things that remind us of what happened. Maybe the next time she does this thing, mention that you get annoyed with that action.Let her know that her father used to do that as well. Please keep us updated.

Brenda