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01/02/2009 02:36 PM

introduction

aiuto
Posts: 5
Member

Hi everyone!

I hope this is the correct forum for me.

My partner has PTSD and I want with all my heart to learn how to help and be supportive. I was hoping that this group could help.

I would love any input, suggestions for how to be there but keep myself intact emotionally too.

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01/02/2009 04:02 PM
1magicman
1magicman  
Posts: 3429
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hello aiuto. Wecome to the group. Don't be afraid to ask any qustions that you may have. We will do our very best to answer anything you have to say. Even when you are feeling down and out, Don't be afraid to talk. My name is Scott and welcome to the group.

01/02/2009 04:22 PM
sisters4life

Hi aiuto and welcome to our family. There is lots of tips and advice in the medicine and treatments section on here. I'm one of the group leaders and will gladly help you out in anyway i can. Feel free to message me anytime.

01/02/2009 06:23 PM
aiuto
Posts: 5
Member

Thank you SO much for the warm welcome!!

My partner was a victim of spousal abuse. To the point where my partner ended up in the hospital and almost died. That was many years ago but my partner has just begun to open up to the world a bit. Supposedly because of my support which I am very happy about if that's the case. I want to continue to be there as best I can.

I guess I want to know how to take care of myself emotionally and help my partner and not push or be overwhelming. I feel selfish worrying about me knowing the trauma that my partner went through. I sometimes feel that I'm being taken for granted but then feel guilty given the trauma my partner went through. I've been feeling angry because I feel that my feelings aren't being considered often. It's a relatively new relationship so I don't know yet how to read moods/triggers. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in terms of talking about thing and asking for what I need emotionally. When am I allowed to ask for what I need?

Thank you for any advice or help you could provide me as a partner of someone with ptsd.


01/02/2009 06:26 PM
aiuto
Posts: 5
Member

Thank you for the warm welcome Scott! I'm not sure if my reply will go to everyone or just the person I reply to so I'm copying what I wrote to another lovely member who responded. Thank you for any help you can provide! :

********

My partner was a victim of spousal abuse. To the point where my partner ended up in the hospital and almost died. That was many years ago but my partner has just begun to open up to the world a bit. Supposedly because of my support which I am very happy about if that's the case. I want to continue to be there as best I can.

I guess I want to know how to take care of myself emotionally and help my partner and not push or be overwhelming. I feel selfish worrying about me knowing the trauma that my partner went through. I sometimes feel that I'm being taken for granted but then feel guilty given the trauma my partner went through. I've been feeling angry because I feel that my feelings aren't being considered often. It's a relatively new relationship so I don't know yet how to read moods/triggers. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in terms of talking about thing and asking for what I need emotionally. When am I allowed to ask for what I need?

Thank you for any advice or help you could provide me as a partner of someone with ptsd.

I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP ON MY PARTNER because I know that's exactly what my partner needs is for me to BE THERE!


01/02/2009 07:12 PM
justrembering
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Welcome to the group aiuto

01/02/2009 07:25 PM
aiuto
Posts: 5
Member

Thank you very much!

01/03/2009 11:30 AM
Lilibit58
Lilibit58  
Posts: 1556
Senior Member

Welcome to the group aiuto. You ask what can you do...be open and supportive. But do not allow them to drag you under. PSTD comes out generally when the person feels safe, so you must be a safe person. I'll admit that I'll hid behind someone else rather than take on my own demons sometimes which isn't fair to them. Your partner needs to take responsiblity for their symptoms and work toward healing. You can help them but annot do it for them. There are a lot of good sites to look at and some good information here.

Lori


01/03/2009 04:05 PM
aiuto
Posts: 5
Member

Thank you so much for your welcome and advice Lori!

One question: What do you mean when you say "PSTD comes out generally when the person feels safe...?" That the person will feel more comfortable addressing it?

Thank you again!


01/03/2009 04:18 PM
1magicman
1magicman  
Posts: 3429
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Dear aiuto. I was going to say basically the same thing that Lori had said. One thing in particular that is very important. First thing you have got to make your partner feel safe. If he feels safe, he will think you are safe. Let me give you a exsample. When i first told me parents that i was sexualy abused. Thay couldn't understand what happend or why. But then there therapist told them. For right now just make him feel safe. That is one thing that popped out at me in Loris Post. Im just adding to it. You may want to try and do some research online or at your local library. On PSTD. It may give you some insight of what PSTD is and what it does people like us and your partner. I will help you in your research. In any way i can. Feel free to PM me at any time. To dump your feelings.

Scott

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