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08/27/2008 08:29
Buggafly
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Posts: 48
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Hi Everyone!

I'm new to this group, so I thought I would give a short intro. I am married with 2 sons and we live in the Midwest. I have Bipolar/Schizophrenia and I suffer from PTSD and OCD. This will likely be one of the hardest groups for me to join in on, as my past comes back to haunt me often without warning. I was molested at the age of 5 by my cousin and raped twice in my early teens by a school teacher and then a friend's boyfriend's friend. My Mother blames me for these things happening, so no charges were ever filed against my abusers. It is heart wrenching to go through these memories, in addition to others that I'm not quite ready to share. But I'm now trying to face them so that I can find closure and move on with my life in a more healthy and productive way. I hope you will be patient with me. I will be patient with you too. Thanks for listening (reading) and I hope to make new friends and learn more about how this condition effects others in this group.

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08/27/2008 09:15
sisters4life
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Posts: 1047
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Hello and Welcome Buggafly to the group. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2004 after a sexual assault. Then recently have been diagnosed with a lot of other mental health issues. Please know we are all here to help you the best we can. You will not be judged or looked down on by anyone here. I admire you for having the courage to join a group that felt like one of the hardest things for you to do. Please make yourself comfortable here and ask for help when you need it. Feel free to message me privately anytime you need to talk more private than on the board. I am terribly sorry others have made you feel what happened to you was your fault.
Suzanne

As quietly as little rabbit's feet,
The morning glory sun arrives to greet
The Red Man as he worships in his way.
For this he asks the Spirit every day;
Before I judge my friend, O let me wear
His moccasins for two long weeks, and share
The path that he would take in wearing them;
Then, I shall understand and not condemn.



"If you have a secret to tell or a problem you can't figure out.... whisper it to the wind and allow the wind to take it far away from you and set your mind free."

"It's about realizing, painfully, you've kept that voice inside yourself, locked away from even yourself. And you step back and see that your jailer has changed faces. You realize you've become your own jailer."

Where is that cheerful girl I used to know? I look in the mirror and it's like I don't even recognize myself. I look so down and tired, I don't see that girl that was so happy so long ago. What happened to the days I would smile? Where are the days that my heart wouldn't break? Where have I gone? I see that girl when I look in the mirror, but she's too far gone. I can't bring her back to life she's feeling to much strife. I feel her inside me, but my depression won't let her come out. I think the old me is gone without doubt.





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08/27/2008 11:20
glory
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Posts: 3364
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Hi Buggafly. Tolerence from others is a huge factor in our stablization. We have enough problems without outside recrimination. You come to us when you need understanding or have questions from those who know your pain. We are here to help each other. I also suffer from Bipolar Disease, PTSD, & OCD. And you're right, the memories can come flooding back without what we see as a cause. That's what talking about it does. Thins it out until we can handle it better. I am so glad you found us!







"We Know We Are Out Of Step When"

We cannot walk a straight line.
We've stepped on our brother's foot.
We forget to be thankful.
We feel alone.
We think our dance is the only dance there is.




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08/29/2008 03:29
Buggafly
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Posts: 48
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Thank you for the welcome! I look forward to getting to know you both better.
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08/29/2008 03:55
Flaco73
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Posts: 682
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Welcome!
"Talkin' 'bout soulshine. It's better than sunshine. It's better than moonshine. Damn sure better than rain. Well, now people don't mind. We all feel this way sometimes. You got to let your soulshine. Shine 'til the break of day."- Warren Haynes

"Brains aint me forte." - Angus Young
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