Off day today

Its importanat to remember, difficult as it is, that what you are describing is normal for what you've been through. This too shall pass. Some days will be better than others. I always found a good strategy for implementing better days was to not get really upset about the bad ones when they came along. There is a lot to be said for acceptance. Once you accpet that what you've been through is going to have an effect on you, that effect often varying day by day, the less afraid you'll be of the process. Eventually as you continue to stay on and chip away at it, you will have more better days than worse ones. But this takes time. And while time does not really heal. One thing it does do is give a lens through which to percieve your fears as they really are.