Post Traumatic Stress Support Group

Hi, I'm bipolar and I have anxiety and depression and I had a pretty hard childhood. My mom was a little crazy and overprotective and my dad was extremely strung out on coke. I saw a lot of crazy stuff as a kid, and when I was 15 my dad died from the cocaine. My sister also had problems with all types of drugs when I was younger, especially PCP. I don't know if what I'm getting is technically flashbacks but it feels like I'm in a movie and I see clips of when I was a kid. Some of them repeat themselves, a lot about running or falling, which is what I'm doing in my life right now, running from my problems and falling in a hole basically. Some of the repeating ones are me and my sister running around the backyard; another one is my sister telling me my dad was high when I was 10 and I asked her what it meant, she said it was like being drunk but from drugs and we ran away; and the worst one which I see the most is my mom coming to my room and telling me to go downstairs and she told us my dad died, and all I remember is running away and screaming and crying. I don't know if its PTSD or me just using memories to comfort me in a way because I don't have pictures to look at, but most of the memories aren't exactly comforting. can someone please help me I don't know whats wrong with me

I am in no means a doctor and I was just diagnosed with PTSD myself not to long ago so I don't know everything about it but I would say you may have PTSD. I would talk to a doctor or therapist about it to get a better diagnosis.

When I have flashbacks they are sort of like what you are talking about. I see, hear or smell something that reminds me of the event and it's like the memory replays itself in my head. Sometimes I am aware of my surroundings and sometimes I have to snap out of it and realize I am in the present. I am very hypervigiliant meaning that if I am in a public setting I am always looking for the best means of escape or attack plan and I constantly lock my doors. My husband has a coke addiction and for awhile I was scared his dealer would get pissed and come barging in my house. I have other issues that resorted to my PTSD but that is the one I can familiarize myself with when trying to explain it to you.

I'm sorry you had to go through that as a kid. I know how upsetting it was for me as an adult so I can only imagine what a small child must have felt like. If you need to talk, I'm here to listen.

Like leigha83 said we are not doctors. PTSD is caused by a tragic event in your life that you refused to believe or want to except. Everything you have said maybe sings of PTSD. My advice would be to get tested. It would not hurt. But if you don't this will be another thought being buried in your mind. We with PTSD have issues and things going on in our mind that we have kept to yourself that we our still today trying to deal with. I this is a new issue you should get test as soon as possible. This is just advice. Never be afrid to seek help.

( Hope To Cope ) Scott

I agree with the others: you really need to see a psychiatrist or therapist to be sure. There maybe something else going on, you may have more than one thing to diagnose. It was good that you were able to talk about it.

I hope you delve into this more deeply with a professional. If this is getting to a point where it is interfering with your day to day life, medication may be indicated.

Good luck!

Colleen

thanks for the responses guys. I used to go to an outpatient group therapy and I was doing better with my anger, depression, and all that but I never adressed the flashbacks, and they are getting worse since its the spring and thats when most of my flashbacks take place, plus I see a lot of kids with their dads walking around in the nice weather. I have an appointment to go back to outpatient today and I am goin to talk about it with them

Good for you. Im very proud of you. Stay strong this is a huge step for you. Talking is like a pass. If we don't we can't get past the gate.

( Hope To Cope ) Scott