Post Traumatic Stress Support Group

I was told that I had PTSD several years ago after leaving my extremely abusive husband. I have not had an official diagnosis by a doctor, just a therapist and I did have the symptoms, eps. struggling with things like massive anxiety, esp. social anxiety, panic attacks, hypervigilance and depression. My son has offically been diagnosed with ptsd by a psychiatrist.

Anyway, I have had a lot of healing. I had such a fear of males and struggled to talk to them, although sometimes I would push myself and simply aggravated my anxiety.

Then I met this man and slowly began to feel comfortable with him. He did a lot of odd things but I managed to fool myself into believeing those things were acceptable and the anxiety I felt was the result of my issues, not his. We developed a relationship, I fell in love with him, he proposed marriage and I was excited, happy, and in love. Then on my birthday we had an argument because I wanted to spend some more time with him. He got very angry with me, walked out, and refused to answer his phone when I called. In fact, I did not talk to or see him for 21 days, at which point I had a meeting with him with my pastor and his wife present and he, more or less ended our relationship.

When he walked out on me and refused to answer the phone, I feel like I went into shock. I realize it is not as horrible as certain experiences one could go through, but it seriously traumatized me. I could barely sleep at night. I would fall asleep for about 10 minutes at a time. I threw up everyday for 4 weeks after he walked out and lost 10 pounds. I didn't know what was happening with him but all my dreams were being torn away and the man I loved was gone. I never expected it. Never saw it coming. I am able to sleep now although it is still disrupted sometimes by dreams of him or feelings of guilt and confusion. I am no longer throwing up. But the depression has not passed. I guess it has gotten a little better but I am truly struggling to pick myself up and dust myself off.

Post edited by: yellowbug, at: 11/27/2011 03:40 PM

Hello yellowbug and welcome to our group we a glad you found us here. This is where healing and hope begins. I definitely think you have PTSD But i would still be checked by a doctor. I'm so very sorry you went through all that and this person got you hopes up and let you down like that. You didn't deserve that at all. Here you will find the answers your looking for and get the support you need. There is no judgement here and you can PM anyone any time. If you need anything feel free to PM me.

( Hope To Cope ) Scott

HI...yellowbug.... I know a person that kinda went through the samething you have gone through. I hope you stay here, this group is fantastic... the support and guidance you can get here is awesome......

Like Scott said, if you feel you do not want to post your questions,comment or if you need to just vent...please PM someone.... we are here for you......

It's hard for me to make a judgement on that, but my initial thought is no, this experience didn't cause PTSD. I think it blindsided you and understandably you became depressed from it. I'm sorry this happened; I can relate. It's possible that it is.. we all experience things so differently and their ramifications can be more or less serious for everyone. That doesn't mean anyone is stronger than another.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD and mine stems from some pretty significant abuse. Here is the diagnostic criteria from the DSM IV:

A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:

(1) The person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others

(2) The person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.

Note: In children, this may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior

B. The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in one (or more) of the following ways:

(1) Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: In young children, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed.

(2) Recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content.

(3) Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening or when intoxicated). Note: In young children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur.

(4) Intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event

(5) Physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event

C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

(1) Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma

(2) Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma

(3) Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma

(4) Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities

(5) Feeling of detachment or estrangement from others

(6) Restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)

(7) Sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span)

D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma), as indicated by two (or more) of the following:

(1) Difficulty falling or staying asleep

(2) Irritability or outbursts of anger

(3) Difficulty concentrating

(4) Hypervigilance

(5) Exaggerated startle response

E. Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criteria B, C, and D) is more than 1 month.

F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Thank you for all the welcomes!

Hi Fruitloop. Thank you for the list. I am familiar with the symptoms of ptsd as my son has a clinical diagnosis, but my life has not allowed me to see a psychiatrist about this, although I was labled by a therapist with ptsd from the severe abuse I had experienced in my marriage. My son experienced severe abuse as well and has great difficulty coping.

I was just trying to figure out if what currently happened triggered ptsd symptoms or if my response was fairly natural. It was not nearly as traumatic as the abuse I experienced in my marriage so I have been confused to my own emotional response to it. It did trigger shock in me and a familiar response to past abuse. There was some emotional abuse within the realtionship and the silent treatment was abundantly cruel. It ceratinly paled in comparison to what I had once experienced (as far as abuse goes), but it affected me very deeply.

Post edited by: yellowbug, at: 11/27/2011 05:37 PM

HI yellowbug.... I don't think any of us here are qualified to say yes or no to you having PTSD. Yes you can look at what the offical set of things that are to DX PTSD and see where you fit in, but I think you need to see someone that qualified to make that judgement. A counselor that might beable to give you better insight as to what is going on with you.... we are here if you need us ....like I said before we are here for you.....

Post edited by: Fletch2ya, at: 11/27/2011 05:33 PM

I agree with Fletch2ya.. I don't know everything that has happened to you, and there's no way I can make that call. I posted the DSM criteria because you were asking if you were experiencing PTSD. I'm sorry to hear about your abuse and that your son has been diagnosed with this disorder. I hope you're able to meet with a doctor who can give you a better idea of what you're facing. But regardless you should feel free to post here and get support.

Thank you fletch2ya and fruitloop

Maybe this will all pass in time. Unfortunately, I do not have insurance at this time or the money to pay for a counselor. I have been exploring other options in hopes of finding some counseling. For the time being, I can only seek out support. I thought I had found someone who would only charge $20 per session, but she has yet to contact me.

I had experienced symptoms of ptsd intensely after leaving my ex-husband. I did not know what was going on, but a therapist had explained ptsd to me and gave me literature to read about it. I really thought I had come a long way but now I feel like I regressed. I had tried to avoid relationships for this very reason, but thought this one was safe.

Post edited by: yellowbug, at: 11/27/2011 05:51 PM

HI yellowbug... I hope you will not give up on getting some help. Maybe you could call the health dept. in the county that you live in and see if they have any programs that you might be able to take advantage of so you can see a counselor...

Also...I think most of us have had relationships that have hurt us so bad that we then try to avoid another relationship for a long time....I sure know it has happened to me..... It rips a very big hole in your heart......

Were here for you....... just remember that ....

Yellowbug, I think it's a very healthy step to be reaching out for support. I just got out of a relationship a few months ago that sounds very similar to the one you thought was "safe." It's very painful to open yourself up after you've been hurt and find that the person wasn't who they made you believe them to be. I would have sworn off relationships altogether after that, but a guy I'd only known a short while but who has known some of my other friends for a lot longer really proved that he wanted something with me. I opened up to him about where I was at and he was patient and stuck around.. he was there for me to talk to and cry with, and he didn't know if I'd ever date him. I guess what I'm getting at is he was a real friend. I believe there are good, trustworthy and non-abusive men out there and if you are interested in having something again, that there is hope. And if you don't want something again, you don't ever have to put yourself out there again. ((hugs))

It would also be understandable if it triggered PTSD symptoms from your previous relationship. Feel free to PM me anytime if you'd like to talk about it more in depth.