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07/26/2010 03:55 AM

Hospitals and Triggers


I just spent four days wired up in hospital. They thought I had a mild heart attack. I have arrythmia but is from ventricles so apparently is alright. Is a death defying act to keep me still for four Anyway I was triggered twice while in there but they were short lived and not big boomers and I reacted differently to in the past. Mostly I was worked on by women which helped. But I get triggered if I am naked with people above me. Reminds me of the gang rape. Makes sense to me. The first one was a women though and they had my heart wired up the whole time. They came in to wire me up to a bigger monitor. The first women had finished wiring me up, the second butch women came in and just pulled my gown up and I roared at her. That is different for me. Usually I go into a stunned traumatised state but this time I ROARED. DONT YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN. I explained to the other nurse after the other one left. It felt empowering. I am far too gentle as it is. The next one I was naked and wired up and two male doctors came in. I just became hysterical. They wanted to know what was wrong I just told them what had happened to me way back. They were very respectful and I calmed down. This is unusual for me, usually these would become major flashback trauma recurrences. I think I may of turned a corner but not sure how. Im just so glad I can come here and tell someone who understands. Thanks for being here guys...

gotta celebrate victories whereever I can........


07/26/2010 08:19 AM
Posts: 3373
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Im sorry you went through all that and im glad you are ok. Congrats on your turnning point in you life. It's such a great feeling when it comes.



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